Always love how republicans and conservatives are constantly so preoccupied with sex, sex, sex all the time and in ever more imaginative and obscure ways.
I now associate their religious beliefs to sex, Jesus, sex, guns, sex, the American flag and sex.
Did you say “Jesus sex”?
Is this the second cumming?
Not healthy sex - fucked up power-games sex.
... so S&M and BDSM? .. the power of the Lord, with a ball strap to your mouth.
What if they're dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?
If they would prevent people and companies to own more than six houses or flazs, that would make way more sense.
Of course it's possible to own more than 6 assault rifles, right?
Only if you compromise and get the assault rifles without dildo attachments. Unacceptable to me, that's why I don't live in Texas.
Not if you get the wrong type of pleasure out of those rifles I guess.....
Suzie no! Don't put the rife there!
In Texas, owning more dildos than guns is a crime. Probably.
Normalize mailing Texas lawmakers 7 dildos.
Nooo. That's what they want you to do.
"Compromises the innocence of children"???
Unless you are incredibly liberal parents, children don't even know what the fuck those are until they're old enough to recognize it as anything more than just a "tube". By the time they grasp the idea that it's something sexual, they're old enough to handle that knowledge.
"smaller government" apparently just means few dildos for the inspector to have to count.
Republicans have long wanted a government small enough to fit inside a vagina.
Exqueeze me? The fuck? Is that real?
Edit: yes. Although it’s mired in legislative gobbledygook:
Sec. 43.23. OBSCENITY. (a) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he wholesale promotes or possesses with intent to wholesale promote any obscene material or obscene device.
(b) Except as provided by Subsection (h), an offense under Subsection (a) is a state jail felony.
(c) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he:
(1) promotes or possesses with intent to promote any obscene material or obscene device; or
(2) produces, presents, or directs an obscene performance or participates in a portion thereof that is obscene or that contributes to its obscenity.
(d) Except as provided by Subsection (h), an offense under Subsection (c) is a Class A misdemeanor.
(e) A person who promotes or wholesale promotes obscene material or an obscene device or possesses the same with intent to promote or wholesale promote it in the course of his business is presumed to do so with knowledge of its content and character.
(f) A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.
So, women seem to be exempt (“he possesses with intent”) and it is a “performance”. Whatever that means. And it’s a misdemeanor.
But it’s real. Can have six dildos in a performance, but more than six? Oooh that’s a paddlin’.
That law looks like it's written so that they could arrest me for having 6 books they didn't like. Obscene could mean anything here. It just screams "selective punishment".
It is defined earlier in the law but it was too long and boring to paste in. It still boils down to "obscene" items, which - yeah.
Small government, uh?
How’s fixing that power grid going, Texas?
So surprisingly a couple things have actually happened. Renewables are still showing explosive growth, it helped stave off as many rolling blackouts this summer. Also, they finally agreed to tie into the national grid.
Now, did they actually winterize and help prevent what happened a few years ago? Who knows, we haven't been told shit so probably not.
Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?
So many questions.
At this rate they'll need to define and standardize what constitutes a dildo so they can ban the right things. At what length is a dildo dangerously concealable? Do fully vibromatic dildos need to be more strictly controlled? Is a cucumber a dildo, or an AOP (Any Other Phallus)? Should doctor's offices hold dildo buybacks?
The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won't anyone think of the children, PLEASE!
And scream about "parents rights"
Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?
Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?
Imagine being so unable to pleasure women that you're jealous and petty against your wife's dildo collection.
I'm interested in seeing a judicial decision on whether a double ended dildo counts as one dildo or two dildos.
If you create a religion with a dildo being recognized by your dogma as official iconography, could you unlock "unlimited dildos" based upon religious freedom exceptions?
If they can outlaw a specific store from selling something, they can outlaw any store from selling anything. This isn't just about sex toys, it's a test to see what they can get away with.
Tbf, the bill targets "retail stores," not specifically Walmart.
The point stands. There is no TBF here.
"So, what are you in for?"
"Seventh dildo."
Uhm, you can buy dildos at Walmart?
Why has nobody told me before now?
Support small businesses, don't get your dildos from Walmart
Yes you can! Except they're usually locked in a display case and you have to go and get someone to help you get one
I always like to ask if they have anything bigger in the back.
What are they going to do next? Make registry of dildos? Have a dildo buyback program? Regulate the length and girth?
Home inspections would trigger lots of backlash. This will just regulate physical stores because the lawmakers are boomers. Also you can't have a massively-multi-dildo display at home if you expect snitches to come over.
Maybe they'll use this as an excuse to monitor people's online activity and/or mail. What if you're buying dildos? Also lathes and 3D printers might become popular among sex shops for on-demand production. Invest!
Certainly color..
Everything's s dildo if you are brave enough.
Enterprising Texan pervert invents a dual-function gun-dildo that is constitutionally exempt from sex toy laws.
Pump action shotgun dildo
I have seen some interesting sawzalls online...
Even better would be a pump action shot gun dildo in the shape of a cross with a beautiful carved image of Christ on the cross on top of the shot gun.
I know it's not what you described but it reminded me of this:
....Jesus Christ
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