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Having a really bad day and just wanted to post.
(hexbear.net)
I’ve got a bunch of neurodivergence myself and the holidays this year are especially hard for me. I’ve had a tough year and when I asked my millionaire family members for help (for the first time in my 35 years of being alive) they told me I’d figure it out.
I figured out I no longer need to speak to my family if they can’t be there for me when times are tough. See, I figured it out! 😭
Thanks for the response, the camaraderie means a lot. Knowing when to cut people out of your life is just as important as knowing how to let people into it. I hope things start looking up for you. Happy holidays, comrade.
I’m sick of people around me taking the brunt of the mental/emotional baggage I unleash on my surroundings just because I can’t handle being an adult.
i used to do this a lot before i became aware of my neuro-divergence and; despite it being decades ago; i still dwell and beat myself up over my behavior from time to time.
it got bad, frequent & costly enough that i taught myself how to recognize the signs that are indicative of emotional distress so that i can distract myself w ultra high reward activities/things in the aim dampening the white hot rage or the icy heavy despair at the beginning, before it has a chance to buildup into something i regret later.
i don't intend for any of this to be advice, that sentence struck a chord with me and it reminded me that my own bad day today would have been a million times worse if i had not employed this coping strategy before it had a chance to metastasize.
every time i do my homework about my autism; i learn that my behaviors/strategies are textbook; so i wouldn't be surprised that there are better ways to handle this. if there's to be any advice in my comment, let it be this.
Thanks for the response. It’s really good to hear you found something that works for you. I am still trying to get to that point.
I’ve been living in a fairy tale for the past 3 years thinking that I’m making progress, which I have been on some things. However, the biggest issue I have found a way to outright ignore to the point where it’s costing me my relationships. The amount of resentment people have for me and my behavior is crippling me more than the neurodivergence that’s causing it…
I’ve been living in a fairy tale for the past 3 years thinking that I’m making progress, which I have been on some things...
are you me?!
i let reasoning like this stop me from seeking out the professional help that i needed and it likewise fostered resentment in all of my relationships and opportunities.
licensed therapists are the ONLY people who can help you and; if you're enough like me; you will do everything in your power to convince yourself that you can "take care of it yourself". (the neuro-divergent are our own worst enemy if not treated correctly).
when i shared earlier that i dwell and beat myself up over it from time to time over my past behaviors; the biggest regret (BY FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!); is the regret that i talked myself out of getting the help i needed for decades which led to the permanent damage that i will have to live with for the rest of my life & the suffering that i caused for myself and others in my ignorance.
that coping mechanism i shared with you is one of two strategies that i still practice because my therapists advised me to abandon everything else i had created for myself; it wasn't until i started talk therapy that i realized how self defeating all my other coping strategies were to myself.
Yeah, I’ve been talking to a therapist for a while now, but am realizing that I have misrepresented/mischaracterized myself and my issues a bit. I need to find a new one and start over with the real issues being the target.
I’ve realized that part of my lying to myself is not allowing me to be completely open and honest with my therapist. That has lead to them thinking I am making great strides, when I’m really not. They praise my progress and I take those affirmations and go about my life still broken and still negatively affecting my loved ones with the same old bullshit I always have.
It’s a cycle that needs to end, otherwise it will be the end of my relationship… My partner doesn’t deserve this and she has all but told me so… When my issues are affecting my partner to the point of resenting me, it’s time to fucking stop and do something differently.
I’ve realized that part of my lying to myself is not allowing me to be completely open and honest with my therapist. That has lead to them thinking I am making great strides, when I’m really not. They praise my progress and I take those affirmations and go about my life still broken and still negatively affecting my loved ones with the same old bullshit I always have.
now i'm starting to wonder if you are me from another dimension because i done this same thing too.
therapists are sometimes experienced enough to expect you to deceive yourself as much as you might deceive them; coming clean might be the something different you're looking for.
also: therapists are human beings too, if their training isn't sufficient to help them separate the real version of you (after you come clean) from the fake version of you from before, then they will find someone who can help and it will be with someone who is better at detecting self deception to help you.
if you still need to find another therapist, they're also trained for that as well. you can ask them for a referral and their training will enable it after they're satisfied that you're not doing it for a bad reason. admitting that you haven't been completely candid is valid reason and they will accept it if they're a good therapist; they're not there to judge you.
now i'm starting to wonder if you are me from another dimension because i done this same thing too.
Hahaha, I swear I’m not! But yeah, it makes a lot of sense that this behavior isn’t just me. Makes me feel a bit better about my chances of fixing this too.
Thanks for the helpful response, this is my first therapy experience and I feel weird about breaking up with them, but their job is to support me and give me perspective, even if that perspective is agreeing that I need something/someone new.
this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2024
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What is Neurodivergence?
It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”
So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned
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