I'm sorry for your situation. It's definitely a tough place to be. My wife and I recently moved back to Canada--we were planning the move before the election, but the election results only confirmed our decision.

In terms of coping, one thing I've done is to try to remind myself that his followers are also victims, in a sense. Not that they don't bear responsibility (every person who has supported him is responsible for the growing dumpster fire that is the US), but it's like you said--Trump doesn't care about them or their interests. And despite it being tempting to think every MAGA is just stupid (which is at least partly true), there's some rationality to how they arrived there. It's mostly due to fear-based reasoning mixed with misguided patriotism and their upbringing (and probably other factors). It doesn't excuse what they're doing, but if I'm honest, I might be in the same place as them if I had experienced life in their shoes. Still wrong, but it helps me at least humanize them in my own head and it lets my anger (at them) dwindle to pity instead. I also try to remember the ways I've been ignorant in my own past. Again, not to excuse anyone, just to deal with my own emotions.

In terms of speaking up, I haven't had much luck. Most of his people are all in, and there is literally nothing that will change their mind. More often, I find that disengaging is more effective--mainly for my own sanity. If someone wants to engage, I try to remember to first ask them, "what would it take to change your mind about Trump?" When I've asked this, 95% of the time, the person responds with "nothing." Then I confirm that there's no point in having a conversation about it, because at this point, there's nothing that will change my mind about him either (due to the overwhelming evidence of his character and misdeeds). At the end of the day, our principles simply don't line up, so a conversation would be fruitless.

Not sure what your life situation is, but if you have the means to move somewhere else, that's probably the best you could do. It also sends the strongest possible message to your community, and leaves the MAGA crowd to their infighting (rember, their ideology is based on blaming people--if all the "libs" leave town, they're forced to find a new out-group and they slowly eat their own). It sucks, but there's nothing much you can do as the minority to turn your community around (aside from offering support to any like-minded people).

Here's hoping you can get out of it.

You don't have to spend time with them. Your fiancé can go visit his shit family if he wants, but you have no obligation to ever share your time and space on them. I certainly wouldn't.

I'm in Texas, but don't really encounter Trumsters much. I have a couple of Republican coworkers, but even they're over him now, or they just don't talk about it in public.

I’m going to post a great answer to this that agent_nycto shared on another thread:

I don't think you should be quiet, it makes them feel like everyone is agreeing with them and makes everyone miserable. Time to introduce you to my favorite game to play with conservatives, Politics Judo!

So you hear them rant about a thing. Some dumbass talking point. Let's use gun control. It's pretty easy to know in advance what the talking points are since they never shut up and parrot the same problem and solution over and over. "Shouldn't take guns, it's a mental problem not a gun problem".

Things are basically boiled down to a problem and a solution. A lot of people try to convince people that the problem isn't what people think it is, and that's hard to do. Even if they are just misinformed, it feels like trying to dismiss their fears.

So what you do is you agree with the problem, then use lefty talking points as the solution.

"Oh yeah, gun violence is pretty bad! And I love the Constitution, we shouldn't mess with that!" (Use small words and also throw in some patriotism, makes them feel like you're on their side. You want to sound like a right wing media con artist) "so instead of taking guns away, we should instead start having more, free, mental health care in this country. Since it's a mental health problem and these people are crazy, that is the solution that makes the most sense!" (Don't try to get them to agree to your solution, just state it as the obvious one)

It becomes weaponized cognitive dissonance. Their brains fry because you said the things you should to agree with them, flagged yourself as an ally, but then said the thing they were told is the bad and shouldn't want.

If they try to argue with your solution, rinse and repeat to a different talking point. "Oh yeah it might cost more, and we shouldn't have to pay more for it, so we should get the rich people who are screwing average hard working Americans over by not paying taxes to do that. We should shut down tax loopholes and increase funding to the IRS so they can go after them instead of the little guy"

Always sound like you're agreeing with them, but giving solutions that they disagree with that seem to be off topic but are related.

This is why I don't give a single fuck about politics. You both sides sound insane. Left wing, ring wing. Y'all suck.

I'll stick with chicken wings.

What you desperately need to understand, they aren't apologizing for him raping anyone. They don't feel he is doing anything the Democrats themselves haven't done, or are doing, he is just another one, but he is on their side while democrats have been actively pushing identity and big city politics that left a major portion of the population to rot. Democrats AND Republicans are THE problem. Not a sign of the problem. Democrats have ruled over extremely atrocious acts against civilians, they may not be sexual in nature but their end affect is more life ruining. When the Democrats lost power, and Republicans were in charge, they continued the atrocities against civilians. There is people that are going to be coming out very publicly in the next 10yrs(because they have worked through the trauma as they approach 50), that are going to tell of extreme isolation, abuse, and trauma from horrendous situations that local police, social services, fbi, and all of congress were very well aware of since the 90's, and happening since the late 70's/early 80's. You need to turn that critical lense on your own people as well as Republicans. There's a lot of blame for a lot of atrocities that's just rearin to blow a hole in the world, and most of them ain't sexual crimes, sex crimes just get your rage masterbating going. The real world is knocking, and if you focus on just Republicans, you're gonna have a real bad time in very short order.