How do you subtly ask what someone's hobbies/interests are? (lemm.ee)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by FatTony@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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There is this girl I like, in my dancing class. I want to know if we connect on other levels. I don't want to straight up ask her what her hobbies are. I want to make it feel natural. Believe me, this makes sense within the context.

We usually talk a little bit before the class starts. So that's really the best opportunity to ask.

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[-] reddig33@lemmy.world 72 points 4 months ago

“What have you been up to lately?”[wait to see if they mention their hobby].

“I’ve been [insert your hobbies here]. Have you ever tried it?”

“No? Well what do you like to do for fun? Oh I’ve tried that too/never done that.”

[-] FatTony@lemm.ee 16 points 4 months ago

Nice! That ought to work. Thank you!

[-] papalonian@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

Just want to add. Don't ask them a question, waiting with a prepared response to whatever they say. Go into the conversation with an idea of what you want to say, sure, but don't ask someone a question you don't intend to fully listen to the answer of in an attempt to make a smooth segue.

If you ask what she's been doing lately, and she doesn't happen to mention her hobbies, but she does engage the conversation with you and tells you about her week, day, whatever, make sure you're present and listening, and don't immediately blow her response off with, "well I do XYZ, ever try?"

You got this!

[-] pp99@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago

please post your updates

[-] FatTony@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago

I will, but I only see her about twice a week.

[-] nao@sh.itjust.works 29 points 4 months ago

wait until she replies her hobby is answering questions on asklemmy

[-] sbv@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 months ago

[-] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

"we're both on the spectrum, may I hit that?"

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 20 points 4 months ago

Don't worry about being direct and clear - good communication is a well appreciated trait and generally people like talking about their hobbies.

[-] Presi300@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

"Hey, got any hobbies or interests?"

No, really, most people are dying to talk about their hobbies and will gladly tell you if you ask...

[-] FatTony@lemm.ee 3 points 4 months ago

True. But in my experience, people tend to engage a little better in the conversation if it feels more natural.

[-] Blackout@fedia.io 17 points 4 months ago

"what is your hobbies precious? Tells us you must!" Then screech like this: https://youtu.be/YtZLWaqHn10

[-] FatTony@lemm.ee 4 points 4 months ago

I guess there's room for a plan B.

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 13 points 4 months ago

~~ask her~~

Buy her data from the market.

[-] Etienne_Dahu@jlai.lu 2 points 4 months ago

Sooo... You too like furry femdom?

[-] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

"dance has seemingly brought us both here, what else do you like to do with your free time?"

[-] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 11 points 4 months ago

Anyone I have ever known will mentions their hobbies and interests overtime when talking in general.

[-] stinky@redlemmy.com 11 points 4 months ago

Volunteer your hobbies and interests and see if she wants to learn more about any of them.

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 months ago

yo dawg, whatchu do for fun? Have you considered: me?

What could go wrong? 100% chance of success

[-] SkyNTP@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 months ago

"So what do you do for fun?"

If that's too direct, just mention something fun you did recently and let them decide to respond in kind. If they don't open up to you like that in the slightest, after you open up to them in such a small way, then you should just take the hint and go talk to someone else.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

"how do you spend your (free) time"?

[-] Hikermick@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

If you have a pet, casually mention it. People like to talk about their pets. Any bumper stickers on her car? Social media pics?

[-] Nollij@sopuli.xyz 7 points 4 months ago

Be careful with the last two. Depending on context, these could come across as stalking.

this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025

42 points (93.8% liked)

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