Suspended for somebody else stealing 40 dollars from a teacher and then using 20 of it to buy snacks from me. :)

Using an unabridged dictionary instead of my 4th-grade textbook's glossary.

Every new unit in social studies had a vocabulary box with about a dozen "new" words. The teacher's first assignment in each unit was to write out each word, then the complete definition of that word from the glossary. Each assignment was worth 10 points. Anyone who "failed" the assignment (less than 7 out of 10 points) was given a lunch detention: no recess.

Some units had only a handful of words; the assignment would end up being 2 or 3 pages. Some units had a lot more. They would end up being 5 or 6 pages.

She took off points for each misspelled word, missed punctuation, bad handwriting. The assignment had to be completed in ink, and she prohibited corrections of any sort. No erasable ink: If you made any error anywhere on the page, she expected you to rewrite the entire page. If the ink stopped flowing in your pen, and it produced an interrupted line, that was a point off.

It had to be turned in on standard ruled paper. Using college rule was an instant failure.

Once, I found a nice pen. It was a 1mm ballpoint. It produced nice, thick, clean, dark lines. It wrote smoothly. It was the first pen I found that I actually liked writing with.

Points knocked off immediately: she called it a "marker", and the assignment was supposed to be completed with a "pen".

One night, I had forgotten my social studies textbook at school. I decided against even attempting the assignment, and resigned myself to another lunch detention. Dad had other ideas. He insisted that I was exaggerating; the the teacher would be reasonable and accommodating. He said that she would appreciate the effort, and might even give me extra credit for going above and beyond.

He called around, and got the vocabulary list for me. He sat me down with the list and his big, unabridged dictionary, and told me to start writing. I remember that I filled two whole pages with the definition of a single word, and that I turned in 15 pages.

When she was grading my assignment, she called me up, and asked me what I had done. I explained that I had used a dictionary. She pulled out a big red marker, wrote a giant "F" across the first page, and gave me two lunch detentions for my obstinance.

She fucked me up for a few years. All I learned from her was that if I couldn't achieve absolute perfection, there was no point in even trying.

Kid made himself bleed with a bobby pin and during class his girlfriend asked the teacher to talk about something private: while she was out of the room, he yelled, then said I stabbed him with a pencil.

Later on in the Principal's office, the teacher came to apologize and showed the bobby pin she confiscated that still had blood on the spot where he removed the rubber tip. She explained that she took it from him before class even started because he wouldn't stop fidgeting.

Even with proof that I was innocent, that worthless racist ass piece of shit Principal still gave me OSS. I genuinely still wish her and that piece of shit kid the worst, 20+ years after the fact.

Got suspended in 8th grade for "smoking on school grounds" because I stood outside the front door finishing my fruit snacks before I walked into the school (we weren't supposed to have snacks outside designated food areas). Some rocket scientist of a teacher saw me standing by the door with my hand occasionally going up to my mouth (I think it may have been cold enough outside to make my breath steam) and said, "AHA! This child is smoking!"

She literally grabbed me by my collar and dragged me to the assistant principal's office. Multiple other kids, and an adult who must have been someone's mom, told her I wasn't smoking, but she wasn't having any of it. And the assistant principal just believed her out of hand. Wouldn't even let me finish a sentence to say something in my own defense.

They had the security guard escort me off school grounds. And I just stood there for a while looking back at the school, still holding my fruit snacks, trying to figure out wtf just happened.

I pretty much checked out mentally after that. That kind of stuff ended up being pretty much par for the course. I hung out with the metal/punk/skater/stoner/goth crowd, and that was some kind of unforgivable sin at that school. My friends and I were constantly being singled out for minor or imagined infractions and never believed or given the benefit of the doubt. I went from a 3.8 gpa to something like 0.6 that year. I'd have to sit through all these meetings about how I was "so smart," and how "I could go so far if only I would apply myself." And I'd straight up tell them what was going on, and they'd be like, "It's just a mystery why you won't apply yourself."

It's been like 30 years and I'm still mad about that shit.

There are a lot of choices, but one I was talking to someone else about today was the time we were doing the pledge of allegiance, and I did it in a language that wasn't English. I started doing it in an indigenous language, and after two lines the teacher was like "TINA, NO!!!"

I got suspended for kicking my bully down a small flight of stairs. He punched me in the forehead while wearing his father's knock-off Rolex which slid down his skinny wrist and the dial gave me a small cut which bled quite a bit.

So after he sucker punched me and ran I caught up to him at the top of a small staircase down the hall. While he slowed down to "walk" down the stairs I kicked him in his back sending him flying down to the ground and knocking the wind out of him.

We both got suspended, but I still think that's total bullshit. If a kid is physically assaulting another kid the one that retaliates should basically have immunity.

Same kid started choking me out from behind during PE one day and since the teacher was looking the other way and I was starting to pass out I threw myself backwards to land on top of him. Immediately knocked the breath out of him again and I got suspended for attacking him again, but he some how managed to convince them that I was the one that attacked him in the first place. So only I got in trouble for that one.

Fuck you Chase. You were a POS in grade school and based on your 35 year prison sentence for theft and domestic abuse it looks like you're still a piece of shit. Go fuck yourself buddy.

When I was in second grade, my teacher saw me bend a paperclip once. For the rest of the year she would scream my name every time she found a bent paperclip and insist I must have bent it. One time she took away a snack I had because there was a twist tie on the bag and she insisted it was one of her paperclips I stole and bent.

Another time she got mad at me and insisted I was chewing gum when I was actually just eating graphite from my mechanical pencil. I don't think I can really blame her for that one though