67

It's that time of year again when my partner gets upset with me because I'm not the kind of person that ever wants anything...

My partner always wants this or that. They mention things they want all the time. So I write down what I hear. Gift holidays are covered easily because I try to pay attention.

I feel bad though. I know it's hard when I don't talk about things I want. And when asked, I don't know what to say. It only ends up causing me anxiety.

This is so dumb. What does a person who doesn't want things want for their birthday?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Maiq@lemy.lol 2 points 6 days ago

Tell them the they are the only gift you need and how lucky you are to have them in your life. Anything material just pails in comparison.

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

Ha! To which they will then melt in my arms and kiss me and tell me just how wonderful I am... only to then punch me in the arm and say... "now tell me what I can get you, dammit, or I will hurt you more!" 😁

[-] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago

if i wanted something other than a bag of cocks i would just buy it

[-] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago
[-] shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 week ago
[-] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

don’t knock it until you’ve tried it

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

🀣 πŸ’œ

Well played.

[-] KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee 21 points 1 week ago

Full disclosure, I peeked at your comment history.

How about those phone mounts and maybe a neat 2-in-1 tripod/monopod for your binoculars? Or a shoulder sling?

Otherwise, my go-to is an experience like others suggested. Escape room, paint nite, afternoon of pool/ bowling/ mini golf, Top Golf, cooking class, museum visit, comedy night, hockey game, roller skating, hiking, music bingo/pub trivia, or consider a hotel room nearby for the night with an indoor pool or my absolute favorite...a cabin weekend with a hot tub and a real wood-burning fireplace.

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Damn it! I clearly want things! Why don't I think to write these things down!?

You're only slightly creepy for looking at my comment history, but also pretty dang smart for doing so.

It would take some research, but maybe they can help with that. I think that's the frustrating part for them because they don't know the first thing about these things, but hey... they are the ones who want to get me something. Haha.

Years ago, they bought me clamp on lenses for my phone, but it did not fit. I have a new phone now and I would love lens that I could mount to it. There's a company that makes custom cases so they easily attach. I didn't want to bother getting a new case, but my partner might want to do just that.

And if I don't dig it, we can always return it and try again. Hopefully that wouldn't be too offensive. I've done that in the past and never ended up buying a replacement item even though I promised I would. 😬

So yeah, an attachable lens or mount that would affix my phone to my binoculars when birding. And I think there are monopod stands, kind of like a tripod but only one leg, which can be used to keep things like binoculars stable. Maybe something like that if it isn't too weird looking. Lol

Thank you, creepy internet sleuth! It's so funny that I wrestle with what to think of when I know I've expressed interest in things. I don't know why I couldn't think of that on the spot. I very rarely actually get those things, but others might want to go that extra step and actually get them as a gift!

This can work!

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Use it as an excuse to strengthen your bond I guess. Just say something like "all I want is to do (XYZ thing you know you both like: dinner, movie, whatever.) with you, I don't need anything more." If that even is something you'd even want to do of course. Don't force it if it isn't what you want.

Just be honest with them, you could even possibly try to explain the anxiety you feel about it all and let them know you're happy just being with them in whatever way.

Either that or pick a food you like lol for me I'd probably just say "get me a big ol' bag of chocolate covered pretzels and I'll be in heaven." :P

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

There's a lot of good truth within this post. More than you might realize. Something to ponder today.

[-] __nobodynowhere@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago

Beans

Jamon Iberico

Life size model of Captain Picard

Escape Room

8000 Hamsters

Ketamine

Dinner at a fancy restaurant

Art

Bathtub of chocolate pudding

[-] makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 week ago

An escape room with 8000 hamsters and ketamine. Now that's a birthday

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

My eyebrows actually went up and hand went to my chin when I read life-size replica of Captain Picard. Lol.

I would have nowhere to put such a thing and would never actually want it...

But it would be absolutely hilarious and I'd love it nonetheless. 😁

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Wojwo@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 week ago

I always go with experiences over stuff. I want to do something with the people I care about and collect memories instead of things. It gives people the freedom to be as frugal or lavish as they want and I don't have to store or return anything.

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Now this is what I'm talking about. πŸ’―

[-] orvorn@slrpnk.net 10 points 1 week ago

Pick something you already have and use often, like a phone charger or an office chair or a pair of shoes, and ask for a higher quality version of the same thing. Something that will last longer or be more comfortable.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] folaht@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

To list of things anything you could want:

  • Goods
  • Services
  • Relationship time, that is your partner doing things for you,
    which can be subdivided into 10 more types of wishes.
[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 week ago

Food? Everybody likes food, right?

Or an experience - a trip, a night out, whatever

[-] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

Consumables are great. It opens up for repeatability and the receiver is never stuck with dust collectors.

[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 week ago

You want a fun day trip that you don't have to plan?

[-] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago

A small island nation to crush beneath the heel of your boot.

Or, if you don't have boots, you can ask for those.

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

I don't have boots... πŸ€”

😁

[-] lietuva@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I think you lifted gift giving standards way up high and your partner wants to keep up 😊

  • Anything that can be consumed, eaten or drunk is a good gift.
  • Tickets to some event you can both attend and spend quality time together. Maybe a concert
[-] Por_que_pine@startrek.website 2 points 6 days ago

Yup, 100%. Consumable treats that you'd not normally buy yourself and experiences like events or lessons.

[-] Coreidan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

You want a purple rubber dildo

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

You know, I should have played a game where I guessed the percentage of comments that would involve some element of sexuality. Haha.

Purple is my favorite color. 😁

[-] python@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

With my partner, we usually gift time/knowledge. As in, one person wants to buy something but doesn't have the time/expertise to read up it and find the perfect thing. So the other hops in and does the research for them.

This valentine's my partner helped me decide on a new gaming keyboard, while I got him a custom web domain and email setup.

So maybe if there's a thing you've been meaning to research/buy, let your partner do it as a gift?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Nemo@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 week ago

An experience, like going axe-throwing.

A favorite food.

A music playlist made especially with you in mind.

[-] Kacarott@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago

My partner gifted me a pottery class recently, which we are doing next weekend and im VERY excited about. Maybe do that?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Anissem@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Same, I’d honestly just skip my birthday if that was an option

[-] WarlordSdocy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I have the same problem when I need to come up with things on the spot. So instead I keep a list that I add ideas I get for things I want over time. That way if someone asks I can show them that and I don't have to think on the spot about what I want.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] iamanurd@midwest.social 3 points 1 week ago
[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Good god no. Half my family's allergic. I'm just allergic to their nature. 🀣

[-] iamanurd@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago

In that case, a cure for allergies.

[-] iamanurd@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago
[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

I'll put it on my wish list. πŸͺ„πŸ˜Ί

I always ask for the same thing.

A rare steak and messy anal.

[-] funkajunk@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago

Best I can do is a meatball and an over-the-pants tugjob.

[-] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 points 1 week ago

I also don’t like receiving gifts from my spouse. So I just tell her to buy my bar tab for the night.

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago

If your partner is a craftsy type, you could suggest that they craft something for you. It was always those gifts that meant the most to me when I was with someone craftsy. It doesn't have to have utility, or be perfect, it just means the world that someone spent time and thought creating something for you.

[-] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

Now this is a great idea and why i asked this question in the first place! Not sure why I wasn't thinking of it.

They once made me an incredible crocheted dice bag. It's a crocheted bottle and cork with a baby red dragon wrapped around it protecting it. It took time and effort, looks super cool, was cheap to make, and I love it! This is the kind of thing that would make them feel great in giving and I love it too!

Win-win!

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago

Glad I could help!

[-] psyklax@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

She might get mad if you tell her this, but maybe you want some time to yourself. It's what I usually want on my birthday.

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί
this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
67 points (95.9% liked)

Asklemmy

45236 readers
852 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS