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[-] loaf@sh.itjust.works 53 points 1 week ago

Things are so insane in America right now, that I wasn't entirely sure this was satire.

<stares in Gulf of America and Red, White, and Blueland>

[-] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 week ago

Don't forget Ohio's new proposed law for life starts at ejaculation!

[-] moody@lemmings.world 18 points 1 week ago

To be fair, that one was meant to fail. It was supposed to show that they have no qualms with regulating women's bodies and choices, but men's are out of the question.

[-] otacon239@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

That was literally a scene where they discussed how dumb this idea was in Legally Blonde. Satire writes itself.

[-] InvestBurnout@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago

I thought that was Mississippi?

[-] Ledivin@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I hate that I actually have to check the sub every time I read a fucking headline

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Swallowed that onion whole this time 🧅 lol

After it's been dropped on the ground for less than five seconds, of course.

[-] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 week ago

Surgeon: "uh oh, I guess I dropped that heart on the floor."

Nurse: "ha, got it. Five second rule, just put it back in."

[-] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 17 points 1 week ago

I was thinking 'no, this can't be' and thankfully... it was not real.

[-] lost_faith@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago

Headline seemed plausible... how sad is that

I feel for the onion, how hard it is today to sound outrageous

[-] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

Satire is dead.

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Next, he implements the ‘you break it you buy it’ equivalent for road kill: ‘you hit it you eat it’ *

*exception: if you have a plane to catch, you are allowed 1 (one) dump it in the park and bail.

[-] CodingCarpenter@lemm.ee 11 points 1 week ago

Wait we stopped following the 5 second rule? I thought you only ignored the 5 second rule if it was something wet

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 4 points 1 week ago

During covid was reduced to 2 seconds and never bring back to 5. This is an actual good move imo.

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

now it's fine to pick wet stuff up off the floor and eat it too.

[-] zephorah@lemm.ee 10 points 1 week ago

It’s the onion and yet it sounds about right for him.

Most of health care seems to be holding their collective breath right now. Some of the surgeons are working more patients, anticipating awful things.

[-] Wytch@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago

Next up: an increase in the number of allowed whale decapitations to five (5).

[-] CubitOom@infosec.pub 7 points 1 week ago

It would be more believable if he introduced a 5 minute rule.

this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
518 points (99.8% liked)

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