I was biking through a wooded path when some masked (N95) Zoomer gamer and his little fairy (possibly gay) accomplices jumped me. He took my e-bike, which I've named Epona-bike and I could see a Switch2 stuffed into one of his pockets. I followed them into a dark cave but fell down some hole into a wet cavern. Down there he did some weird shaking-dance thing (that he probably got off Tiktok) and magically took away my gaming capabilities -- turning me into a gaming "scrub." He took off with one of the fairies, but the one named Tattle got separated from them and was trapped with me. They recommended we work together to get out of the cavern.
I followed him through the cave to inside a clock tower in a place called Termina. There was guy with a van filled with stolen consoles who said he could help me retrieve my gaming abilities from the Gamer Kid if I retrieve the stolen Switch 2 for him that the Gamer Kid. This town is preparing for a carnival or something.
Here's the transcript from what I can make out. They're speaking in coded language, I believe.
LEMMY: SHY GUY, this is LEMMY. Do you read? Over.
SHY GUY: Yeah, I read. Over.
LEMMY: Is the race still planned (?, or banned) for tomorrow? Over.
SHY GUY: Yeah, LEMMY, everything's still happening. Over.
LEMMY: Good. Good. I'm the road -- rainbow road currently -- carrying the blue shell for the race. Over.
SHY GUY: I'll show 'em (?, or maybe that'll troll them). Hope they drop more than a few coins (?) because of it. Over.
LEMMY: Well, (couple words I can't make out). Over.
SHY GUY: Yeah, leave luck to (word I can't make out, sounds like what Lemmy just said) Over and out.