What are your doing step facebook?

You wake alone in a room, its dark, but familiar. Its your bedroom. You grasp at your chest, breathing a sigh of relief. But then the light switches on, making you jump. Youre naked on the bed, your arms and legs tied to the four corners of your bed. And next to the light switch with a devilish grin, Mark Zuckerberg. You look at him looking at you, his grin making your asshole pucker. You only have one question on your mind right now, so you ask him already knowing the answer, "dude, how did my dick get hard and wet before I woke up???" But he doesnt answer, just pulls out a monogramed Meta quest headset and starts taking pictures, but the headset doesnt make any sounds. Its just Mark making the "click" sound with his mouth like a fucking psycho.

With nothing to lose, you start posing. Duck face, arched back(as much as you can), shocked pikachu face, everything you can imagine. Anything, to fulfil this nutjobs desire so he leaves. And he does. He takes off the helmet, thanks you for your time, and walks out. "You forgot to untie me!" you shout, but he doesnt answer. Then a man walks in wearing a PVC gimp suit. The only holes visible, in the crotch front and back. And the mouth, oh my god, its a horror show. Just the thin dumb fuck lips of someone who is obviously just Mark Zuckerberg in a gimpsuit. "Why are you dressed like that, Mark?" you ask, feeling vulnerable. "Im not Mark." he says, inching towards you. His tongue running around those thin horrid looking lips. "What are you doing, Mark?" you ask, watching his subtle but obvious approach. "nothing." he says, shrugging his shoulders. Then he suddenly drops to his knees. You cant see him anymore at the side of the bed. "What the fuck are you doing, Mark?" you say. But he says nothing, instead he starts making the Jaws theme and running his PVC gloved hand at the edge of the bed like a fin. "Duuun dun duuun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun BOM BOM" he says , getting closer to your junk. "dun dun dun dun dun dun doo dedoo doo dedoo dede doo dede doo dededoo!" he jumps up from the side of the bed, spread eagled like a weird and kinky Sugar glider, his mouth wide, his eyes wider, and just as he lands... you wake up screaming. Phew, it was all a dream. All just a dream... You got to your computer to check your facebook account and see your pictures. Your naked pictures, and then feel PCV covered fingers rubbing your shoulders. "I think they turned out rather well..."... You wake up screaming again, this time in a mental hospital because, lets be honest, if this actually happened, who the fuck wouldnt lol.

Im sure thats got nothing to do with the fact that reddit is all bots and shills, and Limmy is actually real human people sick of all the bots and shills...

All the dangers they tell us about being over weight and eating like shit, and this mother fucker is still clinging to life like an 80s action hero clings to the underside of a helicopter at the climax of the movie. Come on clogged arteries, do something!

Dude, people like you are everywhere. "My dogs a vegetarian", "my cats a vagan", "my cockapoo is a 2 spirted trans Afghan wolf hound". Its always something, rather than just letting the pet be a pet. We hate it when asshole bullies, get bully dogs that they then train to be asshole just like them. But when it comes to other people pushing their nonsense onto pets, all of sudden we have to respect it.

Cats are carnivores. Thats the end of the discussion. Thats what they are. Just because they can survive on something, doesnt mean its what they should be eating. Some humans say they are vegan, and "survive". They look fucking ill as fuck, but they are surviving. And without science, in the form of special meals and supplements, they would be fucking dead. Wanna know why? Cos human beings arent vegan. We can survive without meat, but its not how our diet is supposed to go.

All that said, I too hate the farming industry and how it keeps and treats animals. But we need more to be done on that front, than going out to eat at a restaurant just to moan at some minimum wage waiter about how meat, and its disgusting that theres no vegan options.

Scotland stopped voting Labour into power over a decade ago. If only England had the balls to do it too. Torys and Labour, two sides of the same corrupt coin. Come England, youre better than that. Starmer is a tory cunt. Vote greens, or Libdems, or anyone else buy those two corrupt scum parties.

You know, Im not certain, but I think the job of being a cunty CFO could be done by AI... Are you listening Microshaft?

I was reading a comment by a woman last year I think it was. Basically, her dog had gotten sick. Nothing major, but it required a bit more care than a healthy dog would. Long story short, she wanted to put it down because she couldnt be bothered. Now, my dog got sick a couple of year before. Needs injections twice a day, and then on top that, his eyes went. So he needed an op to see again. After the op it was 5 eye drops in each eye every few hours for like 4 months. It was a lot. And so far, its cost me around 15k all in, not including insurance. And no, I cant afford it.

I didnt blink when it came to caring for my dog, because thats the responsibility I took on when I got him. But others... They think its going to be all walks in the park, catching frisbees and meet cutes with attractive people. And then just toss their pets when it become inconvenient. Pets are always a weird one. Some people have compassion for living things, are other people are cunts... :)

Put down a plate of plant and plate of meat. And then tell me with a straight face that the cat isnt a carnivore.

The thing is, UK has had age restrictions for years on its mobile platforms. So if you want to look at porn on your phone, you have to unlock it on your subscription. And to do this, they use youre credit card. The thing that they already have. Its easy and swift. And more to the point, only one company has your data. As it stands now, you are supposed to give your personal details to every single company in the world.

Over the past 20 years, how many massive hacks have we seen that leak email addresses and passwords? Are how about all those woman that get their iclouds hacked and their nude photos uploaded? I can think of at least 10 instances in the past 10 years. And now its going to be all of our driving licences, passports, other photo IDs? And the law also requires that they scan ALL private messages. Thats end to end encryption fucked. And god forbid your girlfriend calls you "Daddy" in a sext, you get the cops knocking on your door treating you like Jimmy Saville.

The shit is insane, and people arent anywhere near outraged enough. Its coming to Europe next, if reports are to be believed. So you lot should ALL start kicking up fuck about it now.

I dont get why people find it so hard to make the clear distinction between being jewish and zionist. Its not hard, its like German and nazi, American and MAGA, English and chav. We've heard the zionists speaking about the civilians in Gaza in dehumanising terms. "They are animals" etc. Thats classic nazi shit.

But for whatever reason, we still get all those clowns in various governments supporting this shit. How many pictures of starving kids to people need to see before ask the question "Are we the baddies?"?

This shit still happens all the time. Somehow, all the morons got in charge of all the tech stuff. So now we have to deal with overly dramatic influencer wannabes, masquerading as social justice advocates. I was on reddit the other day, and the subject of teachers sleeping with students came up, and how no one takes it seriously when its a male student. I had said thats probably because just about every guy on the planet had wanted to sleep with at least one of his teachers when his in teenage years. I said that I had fancied my maths teacher when I was 15. I got banned for "soliciting sex from a minor"...

Cant even talk about our lived experience as human beings without someone looking to twist it into some kind of offence. What happened to Josh was a warning. And we didnt listen. Now we have religious puritains in the house of lords in the UK pushing age verification in online spaces. Everyone thinks about stealing data, its not. Its about pushing morality. They are currently going after the porn term "barely legal". Why? Because in their heads it means not legal... In the gaming space, it used to be "video games cause violence" that then pivoted to "video games cause sexual violence against women"...

Common sense is under constant attack these days.