"We took your $8.5 billion and instead of building 8.5 billion dollars worth of extra capacity, we built the capacity we were in the process of building anyway and used 8.5 billion dollars of our money to buy back stock"

It's sort of a poker+slot machine deck builder rogue-like.

You play 8 levels of 3 rounds each, where the score you have to get to progress is gradually higher each time. You score points (chips) by selecting poker hands from your hand of eight cards. Cards are worth whatever their value is, face cards are ten, aces are eleven. Then each poker hand has a particular base value.

Let's say you need to score 300 points to progress. You have 4 attempts to play poker hands to reach that score. You also have three attempts to discard up to five cards to attempt to get better cards to play a better hand with.

You select and play a straight 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 of varying suits.

A straight has a base value of 30 chips, and a multiplier of 4.

So you'll get 30 + 5 + 6 + 7 + 8 + 9 = 65, multiplied by 4, for a total of 260. Just short of our goal.

You are dealt more cards from your deck to refill your hand.

You select and play two kings, and two 7s.

Two Pair has a base value of 20 chips and a multiplier of 2. This works out to 20 + 10 + 10 + 7 + 7 = 54, multiplied by 2, for a total of 108. Plus our previous 260, gives us 368. You win the round, and get some money. $3 for winning the round + $1 for each of your leftover hands (you played 2 of 4). So you receive $5 in addition to the $4 you started with for a total of $9.

You go to the shop phase which occurs between every round. You have the option of buying 2 available cards (jokers, tarot cards, or planet cards), 2 packs of cards (which let you select 1 or 2 of an available 2-5 cards), or a voucher (grants you some advantage like +1 hands per round, +1 hand size, etc.).

Joker cards modify scoring and gameplay in some way, and you can have up to five of them (you can increase this, or some jokers don't count against the limit). They'll do things like add multiplier to certain cards or hands, let you earn money for playing certain cards or hands, all kinds of things. There are 150 of them, so the number of possible effects are immense.

Tarot cards usually modify your deck in some way, letting you turn selected cards into different suits, or increasing their rank, or destroying some, or turning one card into another, or giving you some amount of money.

Planet cards increase the base value of a hand. For example, above a straight was worth 30 chips with a multiplier of 4. The Saturn card will increase this by 30 chips and 3 multiplier so that it's now 60 chips and 7 multiplier.

You buy the Hermit tarot card in the shop for $3. You now have $6. You use the Hermit card, which doubles your money, up to $20. You now have $12.

You buy the buffoon pack for $4, which lets you choose one of two joker cards.

Your options are:

Wrathful Joker: Each played Spade card gives +3 multiplier when scored.

Clever Joker: +80 chips if played hand contains a Two Pair.

You select the Wrathful Joker and return to the shop. You have $8. You purchase Jupiter, which increases the base value of a Flush from 35 chips x 4 to 50 chips x 6. You have $5 and go to the next round.

You have to score 450 chips to progress.

Your hand has 4 spades and 4 other assorted suit cards. You select all but the spades and discard them, getting 4 replacement cards. You now have 6 spades and 2 other cards. You select the Ace, Queen, 10, 9, and 5 of spades, and play a Flush.

A Flush has a base value of 50 chips with a multiplier of 6. The Joker you have will add 3 to the multiplier every time a spade is scored. So the scoring goes like this:

Ace +11 chips +3 multiplier -> Total = 61 x 9

Queen +10 chips +3 multiplier -> Total = 71 x 12

Ten +10 chips +3 multiplier -> Total = 71 x 15

Nine +9 chips +3 multiplier -> Total = 80 x 18

Five +5 chips +3 multiplier -> Total = 85 x 21 = 1,785

This is well on excess of the 450 needed to progress, you win the round, receiving $4 for winning the round, $1 for each of your remaining hands ($3), and $1 in interest for having $5 in your bank at the end of the round. You now have $13.

You go to the shop phase. You purchase whatever you think will benefit you and proceed to the boss blind. This will have some sort of debuff like, "All Spade cards are debuffed" meaning they'll have a score of zero, and any joker effect that would trigger like +3 multiplier for a spade, won't trigger.

And so the game continues in that fashion with progressively higher score requirements while you try to collect jokers and modify your deck in a way which synergizes do that you can reach those score requirements. For example, I built a winning deck around playing entirely Royal Flushes, by duplicating the required cards and destroying most of the rest.

Won't someone rid us of these meddlesome justices?

Semi recently had mine try to take me through a private business parking lot which was entirely fenced off, and didn't even connect on the other side. That was... confusing, to say the least.

A civil court conviction seems like enough for me

Your average cities skylines map

My parents live in butt fuck nowhere and are in a fiber co-op paying like $70/month for unlimited 1gbps up/down.

Meanwhile I live in the (extremely left) Capitol City of my state and pay Comcast $165/month for like 175mbps capped at 1TB, with some absurd overage fee like $10/5GB over until I hit $100 over and then it's "unlimited" but seems throttled.

Agreed. We should (in the US) pay really high salaries to government officials, especially executive office/legislators/judges. Provide huge benefits like paid education and lifetime medical coverage for children and spouses (even if you retire), and a one time home purchase up to a certain amount in any location on retirement. It's yours and if you sell it, the income is yours too. Pension equivalent to salary, which is raised whenever it's increased for active government officials, and continues for your spouse after you die.

But in return, you and your spouse must fully divest yourself of any investments of any kind. You must sell any properties you own beyond a home in your constituent state. A home in DC will be provided, if applicable. Your spouse also may not have investments or own properties. Your adult children may have investments if they're managed by a blind trust.

After you retire, or "age out" at the current full social security age, or at the end of your assigned term after reaching that age, you may not ever hold another job ever again. You may not receive income in any form other than what is paid to you by the pension fund. You (and your spouse) may not own investments of any kind.

Don't like it? Cool, don't run for office.

A constitutional amendment will never occur again, because it is an incredibly high bar to overcome even when the legislative process in the country isn't as dysfunctional.

One party would need a super majority in both houses of Congress, where the bar is 2/3 but you're probably going to need at least ten more than that to prevent the amendment from being scrapped by a contingent of Joe Liebermans.

Then that same party will need a majority in the state legislatures of 38 states to ratify the amendment.

It's just not going to happen.

I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL YOU HEATHEN!

PIZZA RACE WAR NOW! THE FRUIT PIE PEOPLE WILL REIGN SUPREME AND YOU SHALL KNEEL BEFORE THE GLORIOUS MAJESTY OF OUR OVENS AND WOOD FIRED HEARTHS

This really reads like, "wrap it up quickly."

I feel bad enough when I'm letting the tap run during dishes when it's taking me a second to scrub something lol