[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 67 points 2 months ago

My research is so specific that I would doxx myself if I explained what I do.

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 37 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I thought I was the only one! I really did not know that this is something that happens more often.

My mother managed to convince her psychiatrist to diagnose me with autism when I was 13. He told me that I had autism and that if I did not get treated, I would be alone forever and I would never be able to make friends. He also called it a handicap. No treatment was started, there was no help or anything after that. The psychiatrist told me and I never saw him again. My mother told everyone around her I was autistic and they all felt very bad for her, including me. I felt really sad she had me for a daughter and I hated myself for being who I was. I also was bullied in school and I thought it was my own fault because I was autistic and therefore I did stuff that made others bully me. I was the one in the wrong and it was just a response to that, I felt.

Turns out I am not autistic at all. Like, I had it checked out thoroughly and there was no doubt about it. I actually an able to emphasise with others better than average etc. I also have some really close friends, which I made once I was able to leave home. I do have CPTSD though from severe emotional neglect and psychological abuse.

It is so weird to see similar stories here. I know my social skills are fine, but I still feel insecure about my social functioning. I am always looking for stuff I might do wrong that confirms that I am autistic after all. I also still feel like something is fundamentally wrong with me and as if my existence is somehow an enormous burden for others. (This is not how I feel about autistic people, but it is how I was made to feel about myself by that diagnosis.) It is a feeling that is very difficult to change.

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 35 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Even if you are against abortion and feel your opinion is so important you need to force it upon others, it makes no sense to block this medication. There are many medical reasons for needing it. I needed it twice myself because I was pregnant, but the pregnancy was not vital and my body did not miscarry on its own. I would love to have children, but in those cases there was no unborn life to protect as it would have never become a baby. I was very happy to have access to this medication, because being pregnant for months while wanting a baby and knowing that you will not have a baby is very difficult and confusing psychologically. Taking the medication was difficult as well, but in the end I was glad I did.

(I am not against abortion, I just cannot see why it would be logical to ban this medication even if you are.)

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 34 points 8 months ago

Apparently, it is not true

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 35 points 8 months ago

Sorry for speaking English. My German is very bad and I am too lazy to use a translator.

The only thing that happened here is that Wilders is not going to be the MP. His party might still have a lot of influence, depending on whether they are able to form a coalition (in some form). And his party is not internally democratic, they just have to do what he says. So if this happens, Wilders might be very influential. Not being the MP, at the same time, might be beneficial for Wilders as it allows him to be in parliament and keep saying his racist stuff and acting like everything bad that happens is someone else's fault. So, this might not be such good news as it seems.

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 62 points 8 months ago

I mean, it is not that creepy. Philosophy underlies science and almost everything is studied in science. I guess the same is the case for other concepts that are just as broad and fundamental. Or maybe it is possible to go from almost any page to almost any other page. I guess that would make sense too.

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 46 points 9 months ago

This is what you get if you ask it to draw a room with an invisible elephant.

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 50 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

In the Netherlands, we actually celebrate Sinterklaas (St Nicolas) on december 5th. It is when this guy comes to the houses of children to give them presents, like Santa does in the US, for instance. I even heard people say that Santa was derived from the figure of Sinterklaas, but I am not sure whether it is true.

In the weeks before Sinterklaas comes to the house, children put their shoes near the fireplace (and if they do not have a fireplace usually near the heater). They might sing some special Sinterklaas songs and put a carrot in their shoe for the which horse that Sinterklaas rides. Then during the night Sinterklaas and/or his helper Piet come on through the chimney and put smallngifts in the shoes. There are also a lot of other traditions around the Sinterklaas celebrations and there are cadies and cookies that are only eaten around this time like pepernoten and speculaas.

Sinterklaas has become controversial over the last few years, because according to the stories, he has helpers who are all called 'zwarte Piet' (black Pete). White people playing this character painted their phases brown or black and put on colorful clothing and black curly hair as well as making their lips red and put rings in their ears sometimes. One side of the argument says that they were representing black people or even slaves and basically that this was a case of blackface. The other side of the argument said that Piet was black because he came through the chimney and that this was not blackface. They also say that it does not matter to children whether Piet is black.

The people saying that Piet is racist seem to be winning the discussion. In most of the larger cities, Piet now looks less like a charicature of a black person and more like someone who came through the chimney. In other places they still have the traditional zwarte Piet. There is even some violence in some cases, where the people who think that Piet is a racist charcter will protest against it during the public parts of the celebrations for the children. They then get violently attacked by the people wanting to keep the tradition as it is

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 41 points 1 year ago

Don't drink. Cry. It sounds stupid, bit crying out all the pain might help. Do not run from it. Go through it and cry again if you need to. If you can do so safely, drive and scream in the car. Or break some stuff that you do not need anymore (like plates or something).

I have been through some traumatising stuff and the only thing that helps is not to run, but to go through it. I promise you, there will be a peak in pain and then it will reduce and the next peak will be less severe. This will go on and the pain will become less and less. As long as you keep breathing, you can handle it.

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 32 points 1 year ago

In my student years, we would use a rope with a hook on it and went to fish in the canals for bicycles. If we would find a good one, we put new tires on etc and maybe paint it a little. And in this way we got almost free bikes.

I think it was illegal though. So, there was someone on the lookout. If the police came we would quickly throw them back in the canal and try to act not suspiciously.

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 72 points 1 year ago

Here it does a great job of reducing a text of 174 words to 172 words. 👍

(I do not want to complain too much. Usually it works and it is short enough for me to quickly read it.)

[-] Shelena@feddit.nl 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Save your sister, she is not okay. You are not an inferior person, there is nothing inherently wrong with you. You are not responsible for everything. Your boundaries matter. Your feelings matter. You will be okay.

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Shelena

joined 1 year ago