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“Why isn't the new year on the winter solstice?” The answer, honestly, is that ze Romans had na fucking idea how te run a calonds-. Like, seriously. people notice "CC [ber and “DECEM 12h mon 2rd say, "hey. those mean “zight and ‘er, but these the 10th and hats up with that? 1 yanue gor a itrle more history, yaurll know that tik and Aug they dae those suo months and bumped the rest of the months back. = are named after liu sid Sa gsris Earn Am Nope. The Romans were way, way worse at calendars than that. dy and su.gust were actly eriginally Quins ana Sexilis - the because the year waditonally started in March, 10 they had tartius, apis, Maius, luis, | October, Navember, December 5k mark and the sissh mance, They asi oa sili, ex, Se pele, Martius was named for tars; Junius was named for luna, We 5ave no idea what Aprils and Haius were named after. te, really. Wie have some clues hut heyand thar T's just quessuark] Then they gar iazy and juss mimbered the months. "But wali” you ask “whl abuul fanuary and Febtaan™ Hola iio your Lulls. becsuse cing the months by their iumbers? Not even close ta the laziest the Roman calensar got. Between the end of December and te heginning of Mari [ES S—— wih them. Thay w < just sare of there swear | am aot making +5 uz I adlision, zach month hac lhe: 56 a0 41 devs ass suis Ronan: de.xded that Farting 21 aprile 30 + ais 31 « wanius 10 « (intl 51 « Novenber + Decorum 26 « incercalary Okay. This is where we are at the beginning of the Roman Republic, Lao at thax, Remar + hat Goris eK on it, You will lo ack or 2 and 335 "scaly, tat mak nse At the beginning o the Foman Xepublic, the Senate decided to fix the calendar. This was for ave reascris: 1.The Romans thought the Greeks kicked ass. and wanted to emulaze thelr calendar. 2. Count those days. You will natice that they add up to 355, which means that each year is actually ter (znd change! cays lic, March was sonewhiene in the suum shorter lien an scwal salen yes: - which meant tat Uy the tine of the Rep, 50 the Senate Acrided to do some reforming. They added Twa brand-new monthe fa she calendar, lanaarius and Febniari. 5 lanuarius was named afrer Janus, hecaise his hofid: ie’ come back to hirr.) Februz(y was named after the l-ebrua, a feast that fell in na middle of the new mal fact, lang sifice been replaced by -upeicaliz, an identical least on the sas dale wil a di =v fell shout a week imo “he new mann. (Janis was the god of A=ariags andl that hac in eit ame For Resa. The Senate alsa adaect an Insercalary manth, Morcedsnius, the Month of Wages Yes. an intencalary month, | want ta make sure that's clear, They alsa changed the lengths of the months to better it the Grrek system. “he rents ae | 4 hetween 29-day and 30-day moths. ince again, she Is Pol ie, "yu knee eH Loos, the next pert is guing 1 go into aha the hell was prong sil Uren?” 22 iro This is the calendar the Roman Senate ended up with: « Januarius 23 + Febraarks 22 Hercedonius 22 « THF REST OF FFRRUAR 15 NE HT RE nr tis 21 + aprilis 29 on sis 31 + tunius 29 «ax mili 51 120 «Octobe 31 « Nevanber 23 « Dicer 20 Like Lak later See what | meant aha: blercedaris nei) an ntercalary months ts ieraly in the mi 54 of the way though February, gat bere rid Uetived to da senielling 2 for & morn and con Also, the Romans had caught an to Ieap years by this pain: so every fourth yar, Fobriarius hac, an exira day on te ons bringing irs ral 70 74. sant be civ, though. thet while Biss Count thase uays agai ts 278. By he neces th 1 months to tight it Langit on 1 of pss Gas ia Car in 26 BE, Lhe cain ee iniercal goin. Bonus: as Grouse terey mentioned in the erignal hese! lie until nes larg before lus conto] Ue months ste ted - release of the calendar, meaning Ue: pecple pad atizrton le Urea Wo ka contract years Lo keep politicians sho vers an yealy Lerms) Vey iikesl power a fa or diz Gis The The Julian reform [hil was ordered by our Ieiend SJ Su iat as Tar as we air clue 5 ci=eted by lim vid ties isp tent dings Vist, it ackled those three inzer-atary months Back where ie starch had slid wrain dead of winser) Second, it got rid af tercedanils, putting the yar bace at 235 tags Third, it scarterad ten new days thicughout he calendar 2 ka to year, which gave Jolius's reforms sell weren't quicz ight the length of a year fs Just 3 fraction sharicr tan 265 23 daze which: ferred th Gregarian refarm of 1582 jane hey, | remembered that yoar right or the firs: tr}. Su + werk, ms hey say: good ennui far qencerer (nciuzntally, ie Seiiete vored ser Geius Julius Costa's death 10 rename Quinitilis after hin: because he was bir heir ox likewise Sextifs afte Augustus Caesar The Caesars themselves hat lice te do with it | men, obviosly Gd covtint possibly have; he was ead at the time) So remember how we were talking about why the year doesn't start on the winter solstice? A coupli reases. Fist. i ever id {in the Raman tradizian, anyveayl, 1 originally siarter in Harzh, which container equines kun cidn't swart on i arg The cansideed auspicious fer ons. 1 Change wu: at the yea vias moved Lack to fanuany lor poilival easons, 2smeiber Janus, the god uf door Une Kalen: <7 Jervany So Lo rey cull ant thai tenn wath an offer. ng 12 the god of domes, who rout] then grant an auspicious transition between consuls 0 his Festival, His fess waite! 0 start on the kalenes af Sanuasius so So why didnt the kalends of Januarius get moved back to the winter sols Ls the Christians easily wanted everyone 0 Le Christian. Jas and fot of Tureen rivilizarans had midwinter celebratiens. Vile hadn't oer inverted yes, if was stil the Germanic tribes’ wiiter-snistice catebrations that, as far as | know, wie don : resily have 3 name far. The Celts had their own separate ichwinter ceiebratian il am infarmed that itis now Mean Geimhriclh or rianstad an Gheimridn, but they didn't speak modem Irish back then, the talian pagans! had 3 holiday, at cetera... and the Romans had Seturmalia Saturnalia was ariginally on the 18th af the kalends of lanuariuss, but it expanded the calenaar v: camber far, as the Romans wetdd hase measured i the 13th/ 12/14 day hefore mraming a sesok lang eset. This was part because, well, peaple fed a party ar rat to b= confuisect wien the end 5 enc of the actual sear pre-fiepubli=: and partly because if was conscicusly ar net, taking aver the non-Keman hoidays, encour have fun with the Cives Romi e Celts and the pagans 1 i=in in and And then there's Mithin We dor know lot about Mithias, His was & ysis <ul, wes pribiaby by rosin: god Hla, Sills’ all sere visi o le befure Jesus id Mithias was a gol who wes bora fiom 10ck, slew a bull, 37d th ie sur, For some sesson, the Raniar iegians really liked him. (Again, mystery cult, The first ule of mystery cult is yau dort leave any gaddamn dives for the archacologists,) hich is net iy desciiplin Lut ar sctual anthropogic: erm and it den ania worship of Ure lunch Withras had a celebration ot his birth around the winzer sofstice. That got folded in with Saturnalia 165 (ges, why dos your god Tet you Have ton festivals), and now an anol lolol pecple gods ercund the wie sulslice, and ol of 2 sudden it wes the 41h century CE fe. cbuut 1600-1700 years ago) and the Chitions were yelling pratty powerful, having Converted Constantine in the arevious century, and they been bapressing the Sithraiz mystery religion for o while, ard they decided. hey. wo want everybody to crlcbrate our guy. 50 sespite shat Jasus had been almast recessariy seen born in tae spring, wher fre sheep were maxed in the felts Archangel Gabriels anncincement - they stuck the celebvation of lesus's birth onto the winter-solstice holiday and, not even » linda bit caincidentall, tight snack on op of hithras's birthday 100. 1 wos shiping Saturn and their o: el needa <aepherds who wed have hear she It seems like we've gotten away from why the year doesn't start on the winter solstice, doesn't it? We have nes. The people of Rome fiked that there vas a fescival 1 Gun the winter salsZce, but ty had gor in January. They liked the tradision af starting the nes year during wnat had! been sanus's festival, And Janus's festival stared a rok afer tisha cs. birthday. Moving the kalends af Jar aris back fa the winter solsrict wand hase necessarily moved amnrnalia auiny from the winsor sofstice, anc anus festival tease it, and nobody wanted that. 0 Satuesokia ethers Chiistmas sayed where it was, and Januar aesnt srt on the wi sobtice. n sed to the caesar staring where it ws. And sha%s why the new yes 1 use “pagan” here as the Romans would hae; pagans” meant someanc wha ved Roman religian the city and practiced a non
the accessories don’t matter, they’ll change every 3 months. the figure will not.