"There's a crisis of legitimacy within the press! People hate us and call us fake! What can we do?!?"

"We got this:

First, spend 4 years lying saying Biden is mentally competent no matter what.

Second, lie endlessly on behalf of Israel pretending they have never done anything wrong at all and actually it's Hamas bombing the Gaza strip into rubble.

Third, remember to never allow for one half of a second accurate sentiments towards politicians and CEOs to be broadcast. "Everyone is horrified by this murder!!!" Just keep repeating it."