How about this?...

"Today I am announcing that for every dollar in $TRUMP coin you buy (up to five million) - the price of the Trump Gold Card goes down a dollar. And if you buy five million in $TRUMP coin - you get a special bonus. You get a virtual membership to Mar-a-Lago. And - this very, very important - I like you. The president as a friend is very, very important always but even more in the future - maybe. You want me to like you. You know - just in case I have to do things - all sorts of things - because national security danger. You're already not really American, right? You can always buy more $TRUMP coin too. More coin - more like. Makes sense."