Thank you for posting this. Two years after my mom died from a long-term illness, my dad died unexpectedly when I was in my 20s. We never really connected well and she was our go-between, but now she was gone. Then one morning we were making breakfast together while I was home on a visit, and he just says out of the blue, "I couldn't get through this without you. Not everyone is lucky to be close to their children."

So, boom--it all clicked in place: his own dad was a real piece of shit and he was doing the best he could without any roadmap to follow other than a very painful example of what NOT to do. Honestly, I should have figured it out earlier but when you're a kid you overestimate how much adults are doing things because they "want to be this way" over not knowing any better. I miss him.