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this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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chapotraphouse
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I'm ace and while I do look at horny images from time to time, full-on pornography or sexually explicit talk still grosses me out, I sometimes feel prudish or childish about that as a result.
I feel in a weird place when all this talk is made about normalising sex while being sex-negative, I don't want to push my preferences on all of society, y'know?
Whenever I personally referenced the "volcel poIice" meme it was intended to be lighthearted, a friendly reminder that it got weird in a way that could give a chuckle.
I'm also asexual, and I think I always saw it that way?
I think it's helpful to frame it in terms of a cultural context.
For instance, Japan has a squeezable tanuki testicle toy for kids, whereas that probably wouldn't fly in the US (admittedly, the US doesn't have very many tanuki either) because the culture sexualizes just the mere existence of genitals, so people start acting weird if you bring it up that things like that exist in other countries.
I would guess "normalizing sex" is probably more about the euphemisms and weird ways to talk about it while pretending to dance around it. As much as we should fight against compulsory sexuality that not everyone needs to have sex all the time, I think it's counterproductive to take the Texas "abstinence only STD roulette wheel" sex ed approach that isn't really helping anyone.
In any case, I think that the meme's intended function of filtering out creeps is probably a good thing if it works, but I'm probably least qualified to speak on that.
Ok that article sent me on a journey into Japanese toy culture
Japan is probably not a good example to use for a healthy liberated sexual culture
Yes. I didn't intend to claim that but I'm leaving the comment up so the other ones make sense. I only used these specific examples because I already knew about them.
Do you know of any actually good examples of cultures as a whole that are?
I would say East Germany before the collapse of the USSR off the top of my head
I've often heard the notion that Japan is more lax on sexual content or less puritanical more broadly. I would be fine with that if pop culture wasn't infested with fan service and stuff like designing young female characters with intentionally tintillating combination of ultra-short skirts and thigh highs. Too many times where I get curious about an anime and find out it's horny for no good reason. It's often in a very immature way too, it has the vibe of naughty teenage boys.
I can't shake off the idea that a lot of it is just cultural reinforcement of the patriarchy, asserting male authority over women by inherently sexualising every aspect of them.
I think consent is very important in this discussion, so much stuff happens involuntarily. I don't want to immediately look at a woman's butt or boobs when seeing one, it feels gross and insulting to her and I can't imagine how women especially have to navigate such a landscape.
I wasn't trying to make a broader claim about Japan, just on that one thing specifically, and there are surely plenty of other examples like that Denmark children's TV show that apply equally well to make the point I meant to make.
I see your point about the patriarchy. There are definitely concerning things which I would prefer not to learn more about if possible.
This. Consent goes both ways...
I just wanted to vent about it, because it has made me hypervigilant about any pervy shit in Japanese media.
I had heard before about that Danish tv show. Part of what frustrates me with current discourse is how the female body in particular gets... mysticised I guess. Like there's all the teasing about showing as much as possible but not those areas, then you see a woman actually bare-chest and it's: "oh, I guess her nipples are bigger". On the other end, I personally get discomforted by a visible... uh... "penile bulge". I don't really like to think about the stuff that goes on down there...
I still wrestle with how much I should write that off as childish sensibilities.
I get that, and the feeling childish about it, but I don't think it's a bad thing. Like the other thread mentions, it's a bit acephobic that it feels unacceptable to not want to have anything to do with it personally.
That's an interesting point to consider... I wonder why it is like that
[I didn’t actually say much of anything here but I think I was being kinda combative for no reason at all, immediately regretted after hitting post.]
I understand where you were coming from and it's a complex topic. I struggle with the topic myself and how to read my aversion to sex stuff (I think the main reasons are that as a cis male sexual arousal makes me afraid of hurting others, plus I get creeped out by many parts of human biology, I could never perform surgeries)