47
Baby, wake up, ol' Donny Trump is in a jam again
(archive.ph)
Surely, one of these days The Institutions will bring him down. He can't keep getting away with it! 
President Crimes thinks he's being sneaky when he openly stuffs giant piles of money into his trademark gold-embroidered cartoon money sack with giant dollar signs on it on TV while bragging about how much money he's stealing, but what some people are calling "Stealy-Money-gate" will surely be the end! Here's what you, our loyal subscriber, need to know:
the courts have indeed said there's no law that says the president can't just do crimes whenever he wants
ah well, nevertheless.
...
Chuck Schumer is quoted as saying "well look, nobody said the president isn't allowed to do crimes, but with your donation we can suggest someone do something civil in a nonbinding and respectful fashion, at some point, if we get around to talking about it over brunch someday."
The end of the article was probably the biggest reason I posted this. “Call your members of Congress” as if they’re going to do shit, lmao.