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🚬🤏👶 "goo goo gaga" (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 day ago by Posadas@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 62 points 1 day ago

Toddler: Smirks in the general direction of incel because funny noise from somewhere

Incel: I have been gravely wounded

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 32 points 1 day ago

de-half-light "Oh my fucking god, look at that little bastard's shit eating grin. He's mocking you and your virginity"

de-logic LOGIC [EASY: SUCCESS]: "That's literally a two year old. He doesn't know what a virginity * is *. It's debatable that he's even looking at you right now

de-electrochemistry ELECTROCHEMISTRY [TRIVIAL: FAILURE]: "Because from birth he knows that he's a chad who will slay more pussy than your incel ass ever will

de-endurance ENDURANCE [NORMAL: FAILURE] Your knees are giving out from underneath you, it's becoming difficult to stay standing

[Simply embrace your place in life as someone laying on the floor in the Kroger produce department]
"FUCK YOU, CHAD. I CAN SLAY PUSSY HARDER THAN YOU EVER WILL"
COMPOSURE - FORMIDABLE (17%): Try and stay standing and collected without looking insane

[-] Posadas@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago

I choose 3

de-dice-1

dubois-depressed

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago

No, it's too much to bear. The fact that a literal toddler is getting more of Stacy's attention than you is all you can think about. It prioritizes standing, even. Your knees give out while your lips attempt to sputter something blasé. You sink beneath the display of sweet potatoes

- 1 HEALTH

A woman looking at tomatoes notices this and concernedly rushes to your side

maybe-later-kiddo "Excuse me? Sir, are you okay?"

de-half-light - OH MY FUCKING GOD, ANOTHER WOMAN IS HERE TO MOCK YOU AND YOUR MISERABLE JAWLINE PRONUNCIATION. SHE CAN SEE YOUR FAILURES AS A MAN AND IS HERE TO MOCK YOU FOR THEM

de-authority AUTHORITY [EASY:SUCCESS]: You've already suffered enough humiliation for today, you can't let this femoid humiliate you further. Let her have it. Tell her who is in control