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this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
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To naked sleepers: if there is a fire, are you gonna dress first or evacuate the building in your natural state?
That and similar scenarios makes me a dressed sleeper.
I'm going naked. I knew the risks going in.
Here's the thing... When you're neurodivergent and any clothing you wear to bed will twist and wrinkle and keep you awake every night, you have to weigh the quality of sleep every night vs the rare instance of an emergency. I choose sleep. But I also have a robe next to my bed.
I feel so seen. Thank you for elucidating precisely why I sleep like this.
I had to find specific clothes with elastic at all the edges to fix this. I wish I could sleep makes but it's so cold.
I prefer boxers briefs for sleeping so my ADHD ass doesn't twist up my twig and berries by tossing and turning.
Y'all have 5% spandex fittet sheets too?
I don’t live my life now for a bunch of what ifs. My neighbors can look at my dingaling. Fuck em.
If the toga was good enough for the Greeks, its good enough in an emergency. Blanket, sheets, nearest curtains, whatever.
You gonna sleep with shoes on, too?
(Also what BlueLineBae said below re: neurodivergent)
I have a bathrobe i can throw on in like two seconds in my room on the way out
There was another post that also raised my eyebrow for similar reasons. They were agonizing about what to wear to bed but still be ready to cover up quickly. My answer is the same: a robe. This is a solved issue! Need something to wear to breakfast, but family or friends are over? Robe. Wear sexy/non-traditional/nothing/butt-plug/whatever? Robe. Man/woman/child/other: robe.
Whether it's on a hanger or wadded up, it probably takes about 10 seconds to throw on in an emergency. If someone is that paranoid about being immodest while saving their life, keep it hanging on the front door. You could grab it as you ran out the door and it would literally take no extra time. Sure, in the most urgent fire, etc my bare ass might be out for less than a minute while I put it on across the street, but that's in the worst-case scenario...
How often has this happend to you?
I keep shorts next to my bed, I'd try to grab them as I hop out but if that didn't work out I'm okay going nude. I'm not going to constrict myself on the miniscule chance of an emergency, that's living in fear.
Basketball shorts are my normal attire. I've also been a caregiver for many years for my mom, and I can assure you, in an urgent situation, I can have the shorts on before I stand. I'm a pro at wake up, reach down and grab, and slide my legs into them as I'm standing. It literally takes no more time for me than it would to walk out of my room naked. They sit directly on top of my flip flops that I also slide into as I stand up. Shirts take more time, but that's less important for me as a guy (still pretty important as a fat guy that hates being shirtless beyond what I can even explain).
That said, not everyone is such a seasoned professional. Robe is probably the better call. I'd wear a robe more often if I could find one that wasn't so hot, I can only handle them in deepest of winter
I rather sleep comfortable for the 99.9% where there isn't a fire than be inconvenienced that one time that may never happen.
Now early package delivery? The number of times I've received my package on an early Saturday with by dick swinging in a bath robe is probably way too high. But they don't know that!
Blanket turns into toga. Problem solved.
I don't sleep in my glasses and I don't sleep in my shoes and coat in winter. I'll have to get dressed anyway--possibly just in glasses, shoes, and long coat.
My bigger worry is that my dog isn't currently wearing his harness and ID (he had a bath). I'd have to either toss him in a crate and carry him out, or get him dressed in his harness.
I keep a robe and also shorts near my bed. If there's a huge catastrophe that doesn't allow me to get either of those on, oh well.
Do you not go outside because a meteorite could hit you?