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Would you try a FOSS dating app?
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2025
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Asklemmy
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having a lot of people on it would be the thing that makes it good.
for real though, here's my formula to fix a major dating app problem:
now I can simply look cool, instead of trying to swipe 500 girls for an hour
no for-profit dating app will ever do this, because it means that men are not swiping 500 girls for an hour
Gay perspective:
You must have a face pic of you within the last decade first. After that, anything goes.
Ads are reduced from appearing once every 5 taps to once every time you launch the app. At most. Go away. My hands are busy. That’s why I’m here.
If you use a VPN, you never see ads, and if you route porn traffic and Tiannamen square footage you get free membership forever.
i don't mind holding back the face reveal until after a chat and vibe check. it makes sense given how many men want to minimize the risk of being seen by coworkers, especially in more conservative societies. but i hear your perspective from people a lot also
Maybe add a feature where if someone is chatting with >10 people, they aren't shown for swiping? I don't know exactly what the limit should be, but I feel like the apps use 'hot' profiles that attract people and make them swipe a lot that won't lead anywhere.
95% of your male users would have zero swipes on the app, and then stop using it
and most of the women will swipe on 5% of the men, and also leave because those 5% of men will only respond to like 5% of the swipes they get, so 95% of them get shafted.
and this is why dating apps don't work. people don't use them logically or reasonably. dating is all about chasing hot people who won't give you the time of day and ignoring people who would actually date you because they are not as attractive as the people who ignore you.
so it's the same result as the current tinder system, except im not swiping 500 girls for an hour. yea, it sounds good
the app could give the guy some performance metrics. view count, swipe ratio. he can make tweaks to his profile, a/b test. it could actually be pretty interesting
the tinder system doesnt' show you how 99.9% of women are rejecting you. just like the lottery, the point is the delusion that you might 'win' even though statistically, you won't ever.
if the average user saw that reality, they'd give up. they would not try to improve.
apps can't fix biological imperatives. all they do is magnify them. i'm a guy who gets matches on apps regularly... most women interpret my profile as the complete opposite of what it says. it's hilarious. but that's because people see what they want to see, they don't see what you literally tell them.
not my problem honestly
This is very heteronormative and gender binaried. Queer people exist and date.
That said, anecdotally, from the handful of women I've talked about this with: many don't like making first moves on these apps.
Using dating apps is a skill, and if you haven't been practicing sending messages you're going to be bad at it. The vast majority of first messages I got from women were "hey". Trash tier. Probably because they just haven't done it very often.
it's an idea meant to address a problem which is specific to the heteronormative gender binaried online dating experience. it probably wouldn't do anything to improve other dating configurations