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Americans Try To Define ‘War Crime’
(www.theonion.com)
“A war crime is anything that makes the U.N. go, ‘Oh my stars!’ and faint before getting up to do nothing.” 
"How to put this… When two crimes love each other very much and want to make a war crime, a magical stork flies over an orphanage, dusting the children with mustard gas."
lol that one got me to say, "jesus christ" out loud.