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this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Please, join me in writing in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I don't even know what his politics are (I assume generic centrist feel-good crap) but god damnit we have to get these pro-wrestlers to start running for president. The country is fucked no matter what electoral outcomes, so why not have it at least be more novel?
The rock seems like an asshole with a good PR team but I mostly base that on him being a whiny baby about Vin Diesel who seems kinda ok with a bad PR team, as well as crying about Dave Bautista daring to want more out of life than "Big angry dumb man used to wrestle but now same movie over and over".
John Cena seems like the best bet for us tbh. Filmed himself shopping in Chinese markets during the beginning of COVID to show "Wet markets" and the hysteria around them is literally just xenophobia for what we'd call a butcher or deli or fish market or whatever, and how it's nothing but harmful to whip ourselves up into frenzies over shit we don't understand.
That being said he also continued to put his foot on his mouth over and over again during that time by accidentally repeating silly shit or referring to Taiwan as a country, but also seemed genuine when apologizing and honest about it being a matter of him phrasing things indelicately or generalizing with terms that only made the situation worse for everyone. I dunno, this is all shit I'm pulling from several years ago memory and it seems like a fever dream. It's possible I just made it all up on the spot from delusions/dreams.
John Cena not being a hawk against China resulted in this gem:
I got an insanity-inducing toilet shrine pic from it that I posted here at the time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the president of America - President Camacho!
Terry Crews would be a better president than Trump/Biden probably
Hed be better on China, that's for sure
I'd vote in a heartbeat for a Cena/Crews or Crews/Cena ticket. Fuck it, the country is getting worse than that as it is, so...
Yeah, John Cena sounds fairly based
Anybody who isn't personally trying to fuck over young people left of Clinton out of spite is better than trump or Biden.
Rasputin's mummified penis would be a better president than Trump/Biden
you say this as if you literally haven't had braindead actors and paedophile reality TV stars be president, while Jesse "The Body" Ventura exists
Tired take but Camacho actually sought out the equivalent of a climate expert and then implemented his recommendations opposing a giant megacorporation.
Camacho is literally a better president than anybody we've even had as an option for a while.
Too late.
US politics is just kayfabe. Who better for the role than a WWE champion?
I'd prefer John Cena, but I'm flexible.