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this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Good morning! Uhh lessee. We pronounce medal the same way as mettle. We put our garish flag literally everywhere (I was sleeping under one, as per the law). Like 20% of us vote though only 5 states matter, then we coronate our oldest politician anyway. Being born, dying, getting sick, or going to prison all cost money and servers make less than living wage so please tip us for your headless beer
'It ain't no disgrace to be poor, but might as well be.' It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on its wall asking this cruel question: 'If you're so smart, why ain't you rich? ' There will also be an American flag no larger than a child's hand-glued to a lollipop stick and, flying from the cash register."