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The miracle of childbirth
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this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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For those curious, from Wikipedia:
Eve: “So, what’s she do to piss off god?”
Serpent: “you don’t even wanna know.”
Eh the Christian god really is an asshole,
"imTeLLiGENt DeSIgN"
I’m with the other person… if it was intelligent design… it was some world creation game and we’re in a speed run save.
Or we have the equivalent of some Spore player who likes to make fucked up creatures for the sake of it
assume infinite time and n number of ants: eventually Langton's ants will highway-draw the post on your screen
It is incorrect, but the amount of possibilities is indeed very great
wot if they're running on hexagons rather than squares? HM? Or 3D dodecahedrons?...wait do those tile?
Love the conversations on the WTF Evolution tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/wtfevolution
Abrahamic* to be precise. They're all the same asshole, just different names. (And, even that was listed from earlier cultures' traditions, FFS. Lazy, unoriginal, and fucking stupid? That tracks for religion all around, really.)
I love how the gen 1 creation story basically reads like schoolboys one upping their friends about how great their dad is.
“Yeah. Well, my god made the world and everything in it! and he took a nap on. The seventh day!!!”
Swap out "schoolboys" with "old fear-mongering pervs", and you're even closer to the historical truth.
well, they were old fearmongering pervs, no doubt.
I was just referring to the simple fact that the creation account was a cloned copy of all the others... just wit that squeaky "Yeah well my dad's twice the fireman your dad is" vibe. Sad they used their supposed power of their god to justify rampant invasions and genocide. (which they failed at the genocide because they were too busy raping...)
They didn't fail at genocide. That's not an absolute, it's a process. They may've failed at outright extinction most often (though some scattered empires of old would point out that they were destroyed by religion), but genocide is an inalienable aspect of every single religion known to mankind. Right up there with molesting children and blatantly plagiarizing "sacred" text whole cloth from other grifter "holy" men.
They failed the first time around (“invasion” of the Canaanite lands, where they were told to genocide their neighbors.)
"They" aren't anywhere near the first, mind you, and again: genocide describes a series of actions, not just the culmination (unlike "extinction", as I said).
Fun fact, there's a metaphorical dick-measuring contest in the bible, 1 Kings 18, 21 onwards (had to google it). Basically, Elijah wanted to prove GAHD was greater than Baal. Long story short, GAHD proved HE could light firewood that's been dumped with water 4 times, while Baal was busy ignoring his followers from dawn to midday.
I uh... I was expecting it to be something like they eat a percentage of their own babies or something. Fuck that. Sounds like it would feel like giving birth through a penis.
Fun fact: Female hyenas have a pseudopenis that prolapses into a dick that they rape their brothers with when they’re young
I don't feel like I'm having fun here...
Sometimes their hyena pseudo-penises fully rip off when they give birth, causing them to bleed to death!
😭😭😭
Source?
Source: hyena
I remember trying to check this years ago, and finding that female hyena's don't try to mate with each other, nor do they try to mount males. So I'm curious as to where you found that info.
It sounds very much like that. Maybe worse.
Well... If you insist.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tasmanian_devil
"Gestation lasts 21 days, and devils give birth to 20–30 young standing up ... As there are only four nipples in the pouch, competition is fierce, and few newborns survive."
One guess as to what happens to the spares.
This might help.
Female Hyena's have what is called a pseudo-penis. Which is used for sex and urination, as well as giving birth.
Obviously giving birth splits it open fucks your whole year / life up.
My only question is: why would they evolve like that?
Or alternatively, what the fuck were they before that gave birth like this?
Anti Commercial-AI license
Majority of male hyenas had a docking fetish, and evolution facilitated their needs.
Because they didn't die like that.
Probably just "regular" mammals.
Mammals have a lot of weird dick things. Some bats have gone from penetrative sex back to just like touching genitals because their dicks are so huge they literally don't fit anymore.
https://www.livescience.com/animals/bats/bats-with-weirdly-giant-penis-have-sex-for-up-to-12-hours-in-a-way-never-seen-in-mammals-before
So having a impractically huge dick was more important for some reason.
Guess something similar happened with hyenas vis-a-vis having become matriarchal at some point.
UGS is my favourite rap group
RIP young Pimp Clitoris With UGS
Whoosh* What am I missing?
Evolution, WHY!!?
"Because fuck you all" - Evolution
WTF?
Hyenas are matriarchals and they fucking deserve it.
Edit: They deserve their social position, not being ripped apart if that wasn't clear
It absolutely wasn't clear lol
The original message and the explanation were a rollercoaster for me. Not going to lie
I think I got whiplash.
Interesting how ~~colloquially~~ connotatively "earn it" is more positive than "deserve it"
I debated between the edit and "earn it" but I figured at this point the edit would be better.
Hey, the cartoon dog did warn us.
Hyenas got shafted. And, shafted.