this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
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he doesn’t have covid, you don’t make people wait 90 minutes for that announcement. they’re making shit up because they tried to get him coherent for over an hour and nothing was working.
biden's doctor giving him hundreds of covid tests until one of them gives a false positive so he can diagnose without losing their license
it feels kinda cheesy to abuse the game mechanics like that
Sleepy Joe is wavedashing away from the public eye! Sad!
“People are saying I’m the best at movement tech. My speedrunning is like me on the campaign trail. Unstoppable, unbeatable, always winning. Sleepy Joe speedruns like he’s trying to finish a sentence.”
Folks, Biden can't even do a basic rocket jump! It's very sad. Unlike me, I'm the best soldier in RGL. Everyone knows it. I've got the best syncshots and surfs, the best anyone's ever seen! Froyotech was gonna play me but they got too scared and forfeited! True story
pretty sure the chip damage from the swab would kill him at this point
exactly, hope he does have it and it kills him but sounds sus so far
Not like Biden would remember getting the last one 15 minutes before.
Anyway, would be funny if that gave him a sinus infection that was the beginning of the end
He was already an hour late to his big boy press conference. The time and effort required to induce lucidity is getting longer and longer
and they’ve probably got a whole team coming up with excuses like his grandmother just passed away or the parliamentarian said he can’t come out on stage today
It seems unlikely to me that they’d use covid as the excuse considering how hard they try to pretend that the pandemic is over and that Biden defeated it
compelling counterpoint, but after the biden tweet of “I’m sick… of Elon Musk and his rich buddies trying to buy this election. [donation link] Show your support with a contribution.” it seems more like a stunt
he’s fucking with everyone to fundraise:
That's someone on his PR team. Biden definitely is not doing his own Tweets.
Imagine how hilarious it would be if Biden actually tried to tweet