it took me long enough to type that up that i missed most of the discussion, lol sorry for addressing things other people brought up.

No worries!

however you're being a bit too rigid in your interpretation of the text. we don't have a quote, just an explanation from one party of what they said.

I agree, but I do this on purpose because we only have the text and people keep adding things that aren't in the text, which is why we end up misunderstanding each other.
My rigidity also comes from the feeling that my interpretation is treated as though it isn't valid, which is very frustrating, especially when I do not disagree on the validity of the positive interpretation, just that it is not the only one. To me it is the people who insist on the positive interpretation that are being rigid, since I do not see them admitting the other way is possible, but instead just some man being silly.

but it's a vehicle to talk about relationships and patriarchy and we love to do that don't we folks.

Sure, but I think it's best to have those discussions in a vehicle we all agree on, not one we all decide to add to