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this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I'd put jurassic park first. At least Ghostbusters are solving an external conflict. At this point any jurassic park movie should just be 40 minutes of somebody trying to convince an investor a park where you have live dinosaurs won't have the exact same incredibly predictable problems they've immediatly encountered the last 6 times they did this exact thing.
Only 2 of the movies have had a park
Ok park or island with the intention to turn it into a park except it goes wrong in exactly the same way before they get that far.
They were never going to turn an island with dinos into a park. Isla Sorna was where they bred and raised the dinos before shipping em to jurassic park and the dino island in the world movies is where the park was after it was destroyed in j-world 1
Wow you're right that's a completely different and refreshing take on the narrative.
Also that's literally what they did in the first new one. And then I'm pretty sure the second new one was them dealing with dinos escaping from said island but I didn't see that one because I realized it was the same shit over and over again.
Your loss. The latest one is absolutely hilarious, especially the theatrical cut which trims it to a reasonable time but cuts the scenes that make the plot make sense. It opens with 2 dinosaurs fighting and the cuts to a black screen and 1.5 Million Years Later comes up and then it's the rest of the movie. It is a super long time jump after a totally pointless event and it stays around that level. It's great
X to doubt
Things aren't good
Counterpoint: It's ok to enjoy some slop
I didn't say anything about enjoying, I love garbage as much as the next ungenderable communist radical
You could do one where there is a park that is successful but gets bought out by some VC asshole who cuts corners and ruins the place? Although that's kinda what happened in Jurassic World so nevermind. No more Jurassic Park.
That's literally the first movie. Hammond was the vc asshole who spared literally every expense possible.
That's why there was the shot in the helicopter of him having to tie the seat belts together because they didn't even do that right. (Also the two female ends working as a "life finds a way" reference)
That's what I'm saying they pretty well flushed out the concept in the first one, every subsequent movie should be somebody telling them "no you fucking idiot" and then being thrown in jail.
Instead we're on like film 8 of the same shit happening.
Kind of like star wars and their 4th movie where the theme is "giant space based weapon with a weak spot exploitable by somebody sufficiently quirky"
Look they had a pragmatic location it's just not everyone wanted to
enough.