[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 41 points 2 days ago

Did Kash announce he was going to be there or was this written like 10 mins before the deed? FBI heads don't usually attend these things and it's weird the guy knew Kash was going to be there.

Even CSPAN pointed out how weird it is that he got invited (before the event): https://nitter.net/liz_churchill10/status/2048197834093011305#m

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 26 points 3 days ago

These hitscan mfers suck at aiming they need to go Junkrat or Pharah.

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 21 points 6 days ago

This is just the Marlboro points system but worse because you don't get a really cool jacket or a nice duffelbag

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 76 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

A billionaire who both inherited his family fortune and also got tons of startup capital from the municipality of NYC, so he could speculate on the city's real estate, who became president, orders hamburgers from billion dollar tech company that charges $30 for a $5 sandwich, the hamburgers being made by another billion dollar company that gets most of its return from real estate speculation, not making hamburgers, delivered by a grandma who can't afford to live past retirement unless she hand-delivers fast food until she dies, recorded by a news network as a commercial for the food delivery company and the burger restaurant, the news company owned by a billionaire Australian who tried to monopolize US news and turn it into reality tv, the president having had his own long-running reality tv show, staging this encounter with a normal worker as if this is something they do, as if anyone can just walk up to the white house and drop off food, going through the motions of this charade regardless, because a billion dollar consulting firm told them it's what people like, while the president explains why he didn't post an AI image of himself as Jesus Christ, in response to a flame war with the Pope, because the Pope quoted the Bible, surrounded by gold-painted plaster greeble, and gold letters labeling the building that everyone knows they're in, to make it look more like a gaudy Miami golf resort that the president owns.

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 69 points 2 weeks ago

>Warehouse Luigi

Paper Mario

kelly

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 73 points 4 weeks ago

They're dumping petty stuff on the defense, eating up all their time and resources, while holding back the main evidence. They'll present the main evidence at the prelim hearing on April 17. That gives the defense a little over two weeks to get through 20,000 files and prepare for the actual ballistics and DNA evidence given during the hearing. It's a weird thing to do if your case is as airtight as this should be.

Oh, hey, look at this:

https://www.sltrib.com/news/2026/03/30/washington-county-sheriff-nate/

Washington County Sheriff Nate Brooksby resigned and announced his retirement on Friday, ending an over 30-year career in law enforcement, according to the Washington County Attorney’s Office. Brooksby’s resignation comes after the county received complaints “from individuals who were concerned with operations at the sheriff’s office,” Deputy County Attorney Courtney Sinagra told The Tribune.

I'm gonna guess someone fucked up, likely because of political pressure from above, and the main evidence is now messed up. They're trying to ratfuck the defense and get away with only using sad tweets to convict.

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 69 points 1 month ago

The alleged reason is that she wanted to create an aspirational character for her sons while she was struggling with poverty as a waitress in the early 90s. Harry is special because he's mommy's special little boy who finds out mommy was rich all along. Everyone likes him except for the people who are bad. He lives out some predefined trajectory, created by mommy's love, where he doesn't really do anything but exist and be a special little boy. He worries briefly that he may be a bad guy due to being so special and famous but then is reassured by everyone that he can't be a bad guy because he's special and famous. Then he lives happily ever after after not doing anything (except being special) to kill the bad guy. Once the bad guys are gone then nobody dislikes him anymore and his fame can reign unchecked.

At best she was a deeply misguided striver who was trying to turn her kids into the same hollow strivers most "pick me" poors are. At worst she was actually writing a MKULTRA program to create the next great tyrant.

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 72 points 1 month ago

If I were a hacker a DC bar full of drunk congressional aides placing bets on their unprotected phones and the bar's lowest bidder ass touch screen computers would be a magical opportunity.

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 63 points 3 months ago

Getting kicked out of a bar for the fifth time this month and realizing there is a vast network of underground activists tracking me every time I want to drink

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 84 points 3 months ago

Classic cop move to pull a gun and mag dump into a corpse so it looks like a firefight rather than an execution.

[-] thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net 61 points 4 months ago

Affirmative action but for white morons.

26

New episode drops in a few hours (9PM EST) for the western hemisphere. It drops tomorrow (2AM GMT) for everyone else. Share your thoughts on the show, theories, and grievances.

Episode description: "Carol's new approach to The Others yields unexpected revelations; Manousos finds himself in strange territory upon regaining consciousness."

Use spoiler tags for spoilers

59

Episode drops in a few hours (9pm EST) if you're in the western hemisphere. It drops tomorrow at 2am GMT elsewhere.

Episode description: Manousos begins a dangerous trek to meet Carol. Returning home from Las Vegas, Carol gets creative with her rebellion.

Use spoiler tags for spoilers.

35

Episode releases tonight (Dec 4) at 9pm EST.

Episode Description: "Carol shares a horrific discovery and learns new truths in the process. Mr. Diabaté lives life to the fullest in Sin City."

Use spoiler tags for spoilers.

25
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by thefunkycomitatus@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
  1. Be cool

  2. You don't want to live on the compound

  3. Always take the Interior Minister position

  4. Never give up your nukes

  5. You can pronounce a name in any way you want

  6. Don't delete the dick pic

  7. If someone with a gun enters your car, they're gonna kill you

  8. If someone tells you they're not going to kill you, they're calming you down to kill you later

  9. Never release political prisoners to placate the protesters

  10. Never let the opposition delay elections

  11. If you're going to join a cult, leave the

  12. Create your own private police force

  13. Always pay your mercenaries kids at home

  14. If someone starts to get into German runes, drop them

  15. Always get it in writing

  16. Never put it in writing

  17. You never have to answer the question you're asked

  18. Never trust a South American with a German name

  19. Never move anywhere for a religion

  20. Always disavow

  21. You want your situation to be precedented

  22. Elections should only be done by paper ballots hand counted in public

  23. Never get in a helicopter (or small plane)

  24. If you get fired, just continue to show up

  25. Always check the medicine cabinets

  26. When someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, you can just say "it's for legal reasons," or "I signed an NDA"

  27. NDAs are fake

  28. The coalition always fractures

  29. If you're funny, you can say anything

  30. If someone's trying to get you to commit a crime, they're FBI

  31. Never become an FBI informant

  32. If you do become an FBI informant, record everything

  33. Never record any kind of meeting, unless it's with the police

  34. Never talk to cops without a lawyer

  35. If someone always has a new hat, they've got something to hide

  36. Always keep your dollars in money

  37. The world is run on groupchats

  38. You should not be in a groupchat

  39. Never say anything on the in-office communique

  40. If you're pushing through a land reform program on behalf of the peasantry, do it really quickly and without telling anyone first

  41. Never trust a Cuban exile in the greater DFW metropolitan area

  42. If you keep gambling you'll eventually win

  43. Don't fuck your roommate

  44. Keep your hand on the gun the whole time

  45. Don't associate yourself with acts of terror

  46. Don't ever implicate yourself in any kind of child abuse and/or cannibalism case

  47. Don't let anyone take your passport

  48. Always shoot first

  49. Read the room

  50. Never let a woman see you play video games

  51. Do not invite the journalist to the party

  52. Don't talk to journalists, ever

  53. Don't ever host a party

  54. If you're taken hostage, decide whether it'll be more lucrative to join the kidnappers or to continue as a hostage and sell your story rights later

  55. If Congress calls you to testify, you don't have to go

  56. Always secure the water rights

  57. Know who your guys are and always take care of them

  58. If, in a contentious interim mayoral race, a surprise "caretaker" candidate promises not to run again, don't believe them

  59. Once a year go through your underwear & throw out what you don't like

  60. Learn the art of distraction

  61. Don't talk about the coup in public

  62. Don't smoke marijuana out of a pen, smoke it out of a pipe or a bong

  63. Get a better lawyer (preferably a former prosecutor)

  64. Always pay your taxes

  65. Never deal with an explosives expert

  66. If you ever hear the word safe haven, someone's trying to bullshit you

  67. If a photographer gives you a funny prop, don't use it in a photo shoot

  68. When you pick up a hitchhiker, point a gun at them the whole time

  69. First thing you do when you have a coup, get on the radio

  70. If you sentence a guy to death, shoot him the next day

  71. Never overexplain when yes or no suffices

  72. If you are involved in any kind of arrangement with multiple Maurizios, it's gonna turn out badly for you

  73. Never go into the sewers unless you're a sewer guy

  74. Always throw the fight and take the money

  75. Get a small circle of advisors

  76. Before protesting, pause and ask if you're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired

  77. If you are a renowned author, you need a bunker

  78. If you have weapons of mass destruction, never decommissior

  79. As a journalist, the best question to ask is, "why does chaos reign now?"

  80. If you're no longer allowed to use the bank, don't use someone else's account, unbank yourself

  81. Anytime the FBI foils anything, it's fake

  82. If your money's in something with 3 initials (ie FBI pension fund), take it out

  83. Everybody snitches

  84. If you get busted, serve your time, don't bring all your friends into it

  85. Never go to a second location

  86. Always balance your ratio of officers to enlisted

  87. Don't use the presidential credit card to pay off gangs or make suspicious payments to places that might not otherwise receive it

  88. Nothing is a gain until it's realized

  89. Don't let your gains be reversed

  90. Never invest in anything that has a name that has to do with the moon

  91. When bad news comes out, the first line of defense is that it's fake. Second, you were hacked. Third, it's all farce. Fourth, notes app apology.

  92. Don't go to the sperm bank if it's in the guy's basement

  93. Don't be the guy who has the uranium

  94. Always make your letter non-binding

  95. Everything you say to a journalist is on the record

  96. Everyone in the crypto space is always lying

  97. Don't leak your balance sheet

  98. Never lock yourself in something

  99. Don't be a creep

  100. Always stay on message for yourself

24
74

Can't wait to check on the health and well-being of my favorite secretary of state, Henry Kissinger.

0

I'm building a portfolio so I can try to get a job doing environment art. I have a little bit of an idea how the art-end of game dev works. However I can't help but to think about what games I would make if I was a project director or lead designer. What are your game ideas? They can be as unrealistic or realistic as you like. Big or small.

Mine:

I want to do an immersive sim with retro graphics and homage Deus Ex, Systemshock, and even VTMB (in terms of atmosphere). A grungy cyberpunk game where it's night all the time. I want to bring in TrueAnon type conspiracy stuff to replace the more reactionary elements of DE. Large semi-open world environments set in various locations. The PNW or NoCal for rural forested areas inhabited by militias. Suburban areas with a retrofuturistic 90s vibe. Large high-tech dirty cities. The good gameplay qualites of Deus Ex but updated and with QoL improvements. Though I would probably get rid of the squeenix quest marker and hand-holdy stuff. Make the player have to talk to NPCs and look around to figure things out. I would keep the graphical fidelity comparable, but ramp up the size and amount of stuff in the game. Environments would be full of vignettes and minigames. Make it so that not playing the story is rewarding and fulfilling too.

Another one is a spiritual sequel to San Andreas. Set it in CA, NV, OR, and WA. Set in the mid 90s instead of early 90s. A single open-world. Absolute tons of mini games and side-shit to do. Bring in skateboarding and the real BMX gameplay that never made it into SA. Improve the gang recruitment and territory system. Create real factions between the police, gangs, and feds. Increase dating mechanics. Tons of weapons. More B&E mini-games. Drug selling sim that you can actually scale up and make a business out of. Probably simulate some kind of economy in the game. Deep character customization. Tons of vehicles. Heists. Casinos. Casino management. Street racing. Car customization. Improved tagging. Just tons of content. Again, I would keep the graphics roughly the same, just include more stuff.

I need a city sim/logistics sim game but set in world with a centrally planned economy. The city sim stuff would focus on urbanization and good city planning. The logistics stuff would supplement that and lend restrictions to what you can or can't do. Like cash would in a traditional city sim. Not only would you be responsible for your sims and their city, but you need to create and operate supply lines as well. Like a mix of Factorio, Skylines, and Railway Empire. I have more specific ideas on how this would work, but I've already wrote enough for one post.

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thefunkycomitatus

joined 5 years ago