cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/50028199

Its wild that this is not The Onion or satire. Thats a press release on a corporate website.

Republican Senator Ted Cruz thinks we need to “stop attacking pedophiles.”

The Texas senator made the brutal (potentially) Freudian slip during a Senate hearing about crime on Tuesday.

“Senator Booker also said we should have bipartisan agreement. I think that’s a great idea, we should have bipartisan agreement,” Cruz said. “How ’bout we all come together and say, ‘Let’s stop murders?’ How ’bout we all come together and say, ‘Let’s stop rapes?’ How ’bout we all come together and say, ‘Let’s stop attacking pedophiles?’” [...]

(other outlets portray it as more clearly a mistake, but we're rewarding the outlet leaning into the clickbait because it's more onion-y 🫠)

When the teen apparently vanished, his mother told police that she received a text from him which alleged that four Hispanic men had shot him before bundling him into a white van and driving away.

Before he vanished, local reports indicate that he was seen wearing a red "MAGA" hat.

Cops located his car near Marion County Airport, 80 miles from Orlando, and issued an Amber Alert to find the teen.

The teenager was later found “alive and well” on September 26.

However, Billy Woods, the Marion County Sheriff, now claims that the crime was an elaborate “hoax” devised by Speight.

In a social media video, Woods conceded that there were “red flags” early on in the case.

According to him, Speight "simply rode away towards Williston while the rest of us were left to think the worst, and my team was working in overdrive to solve this case."

To continue the ruse, Caden, who had a handgun with him since the beginning of all of this, chose to shoot himself in the leg.

“There is zero chance that Caden’s gunshot wound came from any type of assailant,” he added.

An investigation involving local, state, and federal agencies found that Speight purchased a bicycle, a tent, and camping supplies before disappearing.

Can't imagine what could possibly go wrong with this idea.

"We're all looking for the guy that did this!"

cross-posted from: https://lemmings.world/post/34666161

cross-posted from: https://lemmings.world/post/34564685

Crossposted from https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/54267711

cross-posted from: https://piefed.social/post/1308380

cross-posted from: https://piefed.blahaj.zone/post/305662

cross-posted from: https://piefed.europe.pub/post/44236

This is a real thing Peter Thiel told a group of tech professionals recently.

In a four-part series of religious lectures in San Francisco, Peter Thiel — yes, that Peter Thiel — has argued that the End Times are nigh and that a biblical Antichrist — yes, that Antichrist — will come to Earth in the form of onerous government regulations placed on science, technology, and AI.

These are, incidentally, areas where the tech billionaire, venture capitalist, and cofounder of Palantir has a vested financial interest. [...]

Note: source uses a two-headline system; the submission uses the shorter of the two

Archived: https://web.archive.org/web/20250925211248/https://www.theverge.com/ai-artificial-intelligence/785407/peter-thiel-antichrist-tech-regulation