"Dongles per snongle" sounds like a British person measuring the gender ratio at their local pub
There's a slim but real chance that Mitch McConnell drops dead on live television in the near future and I refuse to miss it
This one time, I showed up to work in a pair of green slacks and a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow. A friend of mine sees me that morning and the first thing he says is "You're dressed exactly like Peter Griffin."
It was easily the most devastating sentence anyone has ever spoken to me. I haven't worn those pants since.
As a licensed rapturologist I can verify that rapture events do leave stains on organic material. It's the same miraculo-chemical process that burns Jesus' face into the toast of true believers.
Yeah, RIP that dude but I'm built different
Make sure to thoroughly check your child's candy this Halloween. There are a lot of sickos out there putting pure, uncut heroin in their candy and just pretending it's laced with fentanyl.
Depression jokes are OUT.
Hyperbolic overconfidence jokes are IN.
Sadness CANNOT overtake you anymore. You are simply TOO POWERFUL and TOO SEXY.
Hey guys I found one
I appreciate the lore that C&H characters are apparently assigned their shirt colors at birth. Fascinating stuff.
The company I work at is named kinda like this. I don't want to give the exact name, but let's say that if I was an engineer, I'd work at "The Engineering Company."
It makes me sound like a super bad liar whenever I tell people my job, lol
I think it has to be A. You figure that if it were B, the people on the track would suddenly be traveling at a high velocity, but the train's velocity wouldn't be impacted at all, since there was no impact between the train and the people. Wouldn't this mean that the portal had created energy, which is impossible?
I don't think they're making judgments about every single dad, they're just saying that the stereotype of many fathers not interacting much with their kids holds true for more fathers than one might expect.