Shout out to the mole people in our precious sewers.

Fun fact: There are more hydrogen atoms in a single molecule of water than there are stars in the entire solar system.

Then those without trial must be presumed innocent. There's your answer, ya orange bitch.

And to add the cherry on top, should you ever reach his arbitrary speed limit, it distorts time itself. Even if you flew through space at c for a little weekend getaway, you'd return to a now foreign world only to find time had skipped forward +2,000 years, your entire family and social circles long dead from old age with societal and technical advancements beyond what you could have ever thought possible, completely isolating you. You're now doomed to live in an unfamiliar world where not a single human speaks your language nor can they relate to you in any meaning way.

AKA, gods speeding ticket.

Drowned out of his 11th story window.

They forget how many of us gun owning liberals there are. They think they can bully everyone around because they think they own all the guns thus the upper hand. They're are far too dense to realize they're entirely wrong. We just don't make it our entire personality. I don't feel the need to put my guns on display to prove to people I don't even know what a MaNlY rUgGeD BaDaSs I am. That's not why i own them. I very much enjoy the sport and technical knowledge and focus required to hit the target in different situations. I want to be perceived as a loving husband and a kind and honorable man and friend. Those two things are at odds. Or maybe I'm just not insecure about my masculinity.

Sounds like your friend is just some dumbass who's trying to fit something in there that just doesn't. ...that's what she said

Reminds me of that guy on twitter told Tom Morello that he had no business getting all political and to just stick to making music.

That's really cute. 9.83/10 meme.

I may never get another chance to share this with the world, so may I present to you...

I found a kickass stick 4 years ago in the Smokies the weekend my wife and I got married. It's literally the perfect stick. Straight, smooth, nice thickness, durable as hell. Must be of a rare hardwood variety, I would imagine. I still have that stick in the corner and I see it everyday when I'm sitting at my PC. Have I ever used it for anything? I wouldn't dare. It's too nice of a stick to just use on a whim. Why do I keep it around? Well, if I ever had a problem that required a really nice fuckin stick, I'm covered. Every year or so, my wife says to me, "JPSound, you still have that stick?! Why do you keep that thing around?" I look that woman dead in the eyes and say, "there will come a day, my bride, when the creator of all shall lay before us an obstacle, nay, a challenge that only a mighty stick of such grandeur may aid us in such a lofty trial. And this stick, my dearest, this stick awaits our call to guide us into the sunkissed valley of victory so sweet. Only then shall you see what I see. Know what I know now, that this mear stick, is far more than it seems. Then you will know, I am the mighty protector of this home and family. You will see, my love. You will see." Then she usually just rolls her eyes and says, "whatever... I gotta run to the grocery store. Do you need anything special?" And I respond with a mighty boom, "yeah, that fancy chocolate milk I like, please."

I got a kickass drill press. May not seem that interesting but when you step in front of that puppy, fire it on, crank that lever down and put holes of all sizes in any and everything that's not bolted to the ground, you feel the raw power and adrenaline pumping through your veins. Your conciousness is immediately elevated to that of a hindu goddess and you begin to lift from the ground, effortlessly floating 2 inches off the ground as all turns bright white extending into infinity. Also, your wife gets super pissed.