I’m only worth anything in a crisis.

It’s why my last relationship worked for so long. Girl was a living crisis.

Could be it honestly. :)

I live deep in the Appalachian mountains and I haven’t met a single person interested in the things that I am since I was a kid.

I’m so bad and hate socializing so much that I recently got the Mortal Kombat II deluxe arcade cabinet, the same dude kept joining my match every single time I played so I just stopped going online haha.

He contacted me and we talked once, and that was that.

I really like him too, I just can’t handle it. Even that tiny little bit of it.

I don’t know why I’m like that. I’m not bad at talking to people. I’ve been told I’m damn good at it. I’ve been told I’m charismatic and all that. There’s just something broken in me.

Probably comes from the abuse I suffered as a kid if I’m being honest. It was rough, and it trained me I guess.

But then again, my whole family is like me. I don’t even know 90% of them, but I can tell you that 90% of them do not have Facebook. The ones that do, they don’t ever post, they don’t ever like, nothing. It’s like it’s just who we are or something.

I have brothers who grew up in different households. Two of them never experienced any abuse as children, they were spoiled. They are just like me. They talk to no one.

I’ve done the whole therapy thing, I just do not have it in me to have friends.

I haven’t had a desire to make a friend since I was a kid.

I do get lonely. I’ll have a thought that I’d like to share and I know I drive my wife crazy.

I wouldn’t even care if I could find a way to make some money. Right now I’m a stay at home dad. That’s what my wife wanted me to do. I was making money on the stock market, not taking big risks, just making above minimum wage. Then the election happened and now that’s over.

Thank you for caring.

Heeeey it’s me. Totally socially crippled.

I don’t even know how to maintain relationships, don’t have an interest in trying. There’s something wrong with me.

My only friend on this planet is my uncle.

You can’t just say that and not lay any dirt down at all.

Some people got it right back in the day.

Super Metroid is a perfect game from start to finish. I still play it a few times a year I’d say.

As a child I loaded an air rifle with pixie stix and shot my shirtless friend in the chest with it.

In my mind, it was going to be like some three stooges cloud of flour that would turn his face pink kind of like this. (Best I could find)

What happened instead was his entire chest was pouring blood and filled with burning pixie stix powder. I’m so glad I didn’t shoot him in the face. See, I was aiming for my brother who was the same height as me at the time and my buddy happened to be the one who came through the door.

He was a damn good friend too. The adults weren’t brought in on the matter. We cleaned the wounds with peroxide and waited years to tell anyone haha.

God I miss being a kid. I miss my old friends.

And they have so damn much money that giving him the PS5 would have been like you or me flicking a penny to the kid.

People suck sometimes, I swear.

I loved going to my grandfather’s house as a kid. It wasn’t mine, but it felt like it belonged to all of us. He built it with his own hands. I put my little handprints in the basement. My aunt inherited it when he died. I can go there today and look in the closet where I wrote all of my relative’s phone numbers on the wall for emergencies when I was 5 years old. Every one of his grandkids can go to that house and see their life everywhere. They can feel connected to their family and their memories.

My aunt’s kids have grown up there now, her daughter graduates this year. She’ll be able to have that same experience.

If I ever have grandkids, they’ll have to drive by the shit apartments that I’m stuck in and feel nothing.

Millennials existed in a world where they seen ownership, experienced ownership. Our movies belonged to us. Our games belonged to us. Everything is a service or something we can’t afford.

I love my Steam Deck, but nothing on it belongs to me. That is the world I live in from the top to the bottom.

If I want to remove the ugly 1970s wood paneling and paint my living space to match me as a person, nope. Gotta ask my fucking owner and he’ll say no. He could sell it tomorrow or die, and if they tell me to get lost, I gotta get lost.

I took over payments on my childhood home when I was 21. The roof hadn’t been repaired in my lifetime. When I was a kid I put a tarp over my desk to keep the rain from destroying my computer. When I was 23 I fell through the floor in the bathroom.

If I had known just how hard it would be to obtain a place of my own, I wouldn’t have let that place go. I would have lived in it until it collapsed. If I could go back in time I’d tell younger me to suck whatever dick I had to suck to keep it, right there in that terrible poverty stricken hellhole of an Appalachian neighborhood.

My mom bought that place for 40k. 5 bedrooms. A huge house. We were poor so we couldn’t keep with repairs, but it was ours.

I don’t know. Bums me the fuck out. I’d love to have a home for my children.

A dude comes in my store every day to get gas and beer. On the weekends he pulls up in his giant RV. If I don’t see him for a week (pretty regular thing), when he does come back he’s been on vacation in that RV. His happy, healthy kids come in and get their drinks.

Recently he asked me if I knew anyone who could drive a medical taxi. He has a company which takes people to doctors visits. Insurance pays for it.

“I can’t find anyone to work. No one wants to work anymore. I have 10 vehicles parked right now.”

“What’s the pay? Do you do drug tests?”

MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE. DRUG TESTS.

I just told him, “dude, McDonald’s is paying $14.50 right now, starting wage. Paying people the bare damn minimum, you’ll either get them fresh out of prison or jacked up on meth. Like, holy shit man. Minimum wage? For a job that requires drug testing? You aren’t suffering. I see you taking your RV on vacation constantly. Fucking pay your employees bro. Those parked cars could be bringing in free money but rather than look at the problem, you think people don’t want to work. Pay 50 cents more than McDonalds and I’ll come work tomorrow.”

Nope. Stubborn, greedy bastard would rather have 10 cars parked.

Fuck that whole class of people.

I’ve had this happen.

I was dreaming there were all of these people in my living room. It was some kind apocalyptic scene that brought them there.

I was standing in my living room, suddenly found myself in my bed in a sleep paralysis like state. I was confused, colors were swirling on the ceiling.

I heard the voices in the living room and I made my way in there. I had that physical feeling that comes with sleep paralysis.

The people were all around the room staring. I screamed “Leaaaave!!!” A woman who looked a lot like my mom said to me, “There’s nothing left out there. There’s nowhere to go.”

It was like I was instantly punched back to reality with this extreme feeling of fear and anxiety.

It took me about 20 minutes to get ahold of myself and awhile longer to even come close to believing I wasn’t completely insane.

I used to deal with sleep paralysis pretty often when under a lot of stress and I could tell it came from a similar place. It was a wild and terrifying experience.

At one time I had sleep paralysis so often that I learned to ride the wave kind of like a psychedelic drug. Not perfectly, but I had some success.