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Mr Loader and Walpole had been partying in Howlong with friends and returned to her backyard about 5am to keep drinking.
Most of the group was heavily intoxicated, and Walpole had consumed cocaine.
Walpole had described Mr Loader as being antagonistic towards her throughout the night, trying to wrestle her and wake her sleeping boyfriend.
Her anger then flared when Mr Loader told her she should stay in the kitchen making scones where she belonged, and not to go drinking with boys.
She left the table where they were drinking to collect a five-litre container of petrol from her garage, and poured it on Mr Loader before waving around her lighter.
Mr Loader said, "Go on, do it," before Walpole set him on fire.
