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FULLY-anatomically correct, and I'm a professional method actor. I have my own car batteries if you want me to battle. Not one corporate retreat or wedding needs a serious Pikachu impersonator? Hit me up.

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[-] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 25 points 6 months ago

You said 'Anatomically correct Pikachu'...

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

Much higher quality. Those are low-grade.

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago

Is that a fucking bouncy castle entrance?

[-] miz@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago

no, it's a bouncy castle fucking entrance

[-] WizardOfLoneliness@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago

How do things like this get made and nobody goes "hey, wait"

[-] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago

Because not everyone has such a perverted mind like you, smh. madeline-smug

Or alternatively, they have one that’s even more perverted. That’s also possible.

[-] D61@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

I "do" because I "can". I worry not about whether I "should."

[-] jack@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago

it's just kids playin

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago

If these were anatomically correct they would have the heart shaped tail

[-] romaselli@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 6 months ago

Maybe this pikachu is trans and had tail masculinization surgery you BIGOT

[-] LaBellaLotta@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago

“Yes of course I will be nude from the waist down! Have you ever seen Pikachu wear anything other than a hat!?”

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago

There are G-rated options available, but if you hire me as PhD Pikachu then don't be surprised if I only want to talk about my research. I don't want to dance around and be fucking silly.

[-] SterlingPooper@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago
[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago

I can do anything. I need the money. I'll kill.

[-] SterlingPooper@hexbear.net 16 points 6 months ago

More than the body, you have also captured Pikachu's rodent mind. Well done

[-] miz@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

look, we've been over this. your costume Pikachu's dong is circumcised, which is a dealbreaker for us.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

All pokemon are circumcised. Everyone knows this.

[-] miz@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago

yes, exactly. we want to give our twenty-five-year-old manchild a fantasy birthday, not a mundane one.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

Well this pikachu would never associate with an uncircumcised pokemon.

[-] Llituro@hexbear.net 15 points 6 months ago

these kids don't know what they could have had. fat pikachu forever.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago

I can't work events with kids unless I'm PhD Pikachu or Rock Star Pikachu. Otherwise I'm strictly no pants even as Magician Pikachu. No public venues either.

[-] Dessa@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago
[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 16 points 6 months ago

The COWARD mods won't let Pikachu fundraise to go to Mexico and get one implanted. The COWARD State Department says I need to remove my costume for a passport photo.

[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago

Are you still allowed to officiate weddings after that thing that happened last time?

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

Don't serve free alcohol around Pikachu. Maybe cut off Pikachu after X amount of shots. Put a PIKACHU SIGN on one of the BATHROOMS so I know where to GO and don't shit on the floor.

this post was submitted on 30 May 2025
72 points (100.0% liked)

Chapotraphouse

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