Dads who didn't want pets - a classic : cat

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago

As a Dad who doesn't want more pets, I'd just like to clear something up.

We don't dislike animals. Our heart doesn't grow three sizes when you bring one home and catch us cuddling with it two days later.

I fucking LOVE animals, and I will cuddle the fuck out of anything that would let me, but I also know that nobody else in the house will make sure it's fed and cleaned up after. So, no you can't bring another animal home because I've already got enough on my plate, but when you do it anyway, be prepared for it to be MY little buddy.

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

Obligatory pic of one of my 4 little buddies.

[-] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

I love your little buddy.

[-] HubertManne@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

Exactly. I will add that as much as I love animals I really hate the loss of them to the point I basically don't want to get them each time. All the get lots of animals folks seem super heartless in some ways. Yeah your sad but not I never want to go through it again sad. I also feel guilty that I can never give the animals quite enough. Not enough walkies. Not giving them enough attention.

[-] Nelots@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

You gotta move on through the grief, accept that they're no longer with you, but that you gave them the best life you could. And maybe realize that giving another pet a good life doesn't mean you're replacing or forgetting your last one. Some people are just better at it than others, they aren't being heartless.

That said, people who get a new dog a week or two after their previous one died are insane to me. That just feels disrespectful.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

We got a new cat a week after our very old one died because the apartment was so achingly empty without her. She'd basically raised our kids and was perfect in every way. She was ill for long enough at the end for us to take time telling her that, and grieve while caring for her and loving on her and waiting until the first available time for the home vet to come so she wouldn't have to go anywhere. And whisper it again into her fur as she took her last breath.

Afterward we looked around at all the things we had to make her comfortable and realized that while no one could ever replace her, there were other old cats sitting in shelter cages who needed love too.

We went to the city shelter and wound up with a cat who is disabled, can't jump and needed all her teeth extracted. So we paid for that, and brought her home.

Soon after, we somehow also ended up with a feisty stray kitten.

Miss Perfection's ashes are on a shelf, and I tear up when they catch my eye, but the misfits give us an outlet for all the love she taught us.

[-] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

but that you gave them the best life you could. And maybe realize that giving another pet a good life doesn’t mean you’re replacing or forgetting your last one.

I've told myself that the cats under my care are the top 1% of the 1% of animals. I would go as far as saying that they have it better than most of the 8B people on this planet. They have comfort, safety, abundance, and entertainment. I go the extra mile for them to ensure that they have a high quality of life.

When I have gotten another cat after one died, it was never a replacement. It was giving a home to cat who needed one. A cat sitting in a shelter waiting for their chance. And I tend to adopt animals that are harder to place due to age or other factors (e.g. "does not get along with dogs or kids") that are a non-issue for me.

Losing them is hard, but not adopting them doesn't prevent their eventual death. It just means that the death happens "off camera," and quite possibly much sooner.

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[-] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Telling others how to grieve is disrespectful.

[-] Nelots@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

And calling people that get another animal heartless isn't?

Anyway, it was meant as a commentary on how people can grieve but still get new pets. I wasn't commanding them to grieve this way. Maybe "you gotta" was a poor choice of words.

[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Moving through the grief is different than deciding to take on another pet. You do what you want with your heart, and I'll do what I want with mine, thanks.

[-] Pazintach@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, the guilt for not give them enough never left you. I'd like to move on, but even after many years, even after my family added another cat to our family, I still fear for the worst.

[-] Demdaru@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Not giving them enough attention.

Here I am. Didn't want animal because I struggle mentally a lot and I know I don't have vapacity to keep them occupied. Partner finally understood and backed off just for her mom to put us in situayion where either we takr her cat or it ends in shelter. Cat my partner spent a lot of her life with. >_<

[-] entwine413@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

Plus, it's going to die one day, and that really sucks.

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Or you end up spending hundreds to make sure it doesn't, and then it still dies anyway.

[-] AltheaHunter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago

hundreds? more like thousands...

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[-] nucleative@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Was about to make this point as well but you nailed it. I don't want to bring the pet home because I KNOW I will love it.

[-] Sc00ter@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Im right there with you. I didnt want our second dog. My wife was certain she did. Now his seperation anxiety is so bad that hes on puppy prozac and needs something cleaned up every day because we both work. And guess whos doing all the feeding, cleaning, medicine, and baths? Guess who wants to get rid of him? And guess who he follows around and will literally sit on?

Edit: grammar

[-] Outsider9042@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

I also added a rule.

Exclusive naming rights of all pets brought into the house.

If you’re going to ignore me, there will be consequences.

Isn’t that right cuntdestroyer?

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[-] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 weeks ago

I let my cats smell every meal before I eat it. Regardless if they like the smells or not, they're always interested in what I'm doing and what I have.

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Same here. They have a way of saying, "Hey, I want to smell that!" and it's adorable.

[-] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

If yours are anything like my tortoiseshell, it's a loud and clear message. They will run over and give a distinct meow, but they're very communicative in general.

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Aww, that's so cute. Mine will sit, look up, and gently pretend to smell the air. If they're very interested, they'll lift their front paws and rest one one my leg. It gets me every time.

[-] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago

I'm a dad who loves cats. My dad, who dislikes pets, keeps asking me about my next travel cause it's fine, he will take care of Figaro if I really need him to.

[-] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 weeks ago

To be fair, taking care of a pet temporarily is an entirely different matter to having a pet permanently. I wouldn't trust myself to care for a pet day by day for years, but taking on that responsibility for a few days while also getting the benefit of having an already trained pet for that time?

[-] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Yep, indeed. My dad travels a lot so he wouldn't really consider having a cat. But what started as "I guess I can take him for a few day" as quickly turned into "When is he coming back??".

[-] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 weeks ago

Is your cat named after the Mozart opera?

I went for classical composers for mine. Had Mozart and Sergei (Rachmaninov).

[-] JacksonLamb@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

That way you could call it🎵 "Figaro, Figaro, FIG-a-ro" 🎶

[-] Psythik@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

I'm guessing it's probably a Tuxedo cat named after the cat from Pinocchio.

[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

That was the one stuffed animal I chose during my single visit to Disney World in the 80s.

I'm retrospect, I wish I had gotten that gross little gremlin from the Captain Eo ride, but I think I was too flabbergasted to make any purchasing decisions when we passed through that gift shop.

Edit: The gross little critter was named 'Hooter'.

[-] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

I knew most people who think about the Marriage of Figaro, but I've just always really liked how the name sounds. Since both my previous cats already had name when I got them, I had to wait a while for this haha.

Fun facts, Figaro is completely black (not tuxedo like the Disney character), I'm actually a composer (not much in classical music tho), and there's a nice song by MF Doom named Figaro.

[-] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Hey! You should show off how awesome Figaro is by showing a pic. Check out one of mine.

[-] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

Challenge accepted!

[-] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Cats have a way of inserting themselves into your life, don't they?

[-] JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 weeks ago

It's funny how some cats will constantly enter your personal space but act so offended when they want to be alone. God forbid I try to pet her when she doesn't want to be touched, but she shoves her head under my hands while I'm doing something else.

[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I see you haven't studied the Ancient Scrolls of Cat Chivalry...

: dumps out a pile of wadded up newsprint and proceeds to bat it all under the settei.:

[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 7 points 2 weeks ago

The number of people talking about their cats but not posting pics in this thread is too damn high!

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[-] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Very well, I approve, you may put the item away.

Cat

[-] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

That's good enrichment right there! Cats love to investigate new and interesting smells within their territory.

[-] PixTupy@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

We got a chair in the kitchen we started announcing as the sniffing station, cause she sits there every time we come from grocery shopping and waits to be allowed to sniff things. So now if we say "sniffing station everybody!" she runs to it and waits for new things to sniff.

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