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submitted 3 weeks ago by HuskerNation@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 62 points 3 weeks ago

Vanquish evil. There's quite the list at the moment.

[-] zbyte64@awful.systems 52 points 3 weeks ago

There are about ~3000 billionaires. Or a billionaire every minute.

[-] Zahille7@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

I mean if you have all of Superman's powers you could go one a second

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[-] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 3 weeks ago
[-] kellenoffdagrid@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 3 weeks ago

Some of y'all don't understand the type of shit this guy's on

[-] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 3 weeks ago

not a single POW! ?

[-] ArchAengelus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 weeks ago

I can hear this in my head. Snoop is amazing

[-] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 38 points 3 weeks ago

Try to fly through these god damn rings

[-] hungprocess@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 3 weeks ago

Relocate anyone with a net worth of >$500 mil to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 8 points 3 weeks ago

You don't do anything about the wealth? Someone else will get hold of it in no time after your 48 hs are past

[-] hungprocess@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I look at it like this: if you've accumulated that much money AND have had time to use it to help others, and haven't? Glub glub time.

If you've suddenly stumbled into ludicrous wealth because a psychotic demigod drowned one of your forebears? Well, it'll take at least 48 hours for you to put that money to more philanthropic use. I figure we can give those folks at least that much of a grace period to decide to be better.

The next Superman can handle them if that's not enough to change their attitude.

And realistically, this would create so many power vacuums all at once that civilization would probably collapse overnight, but you can only get so realistic with superpower hypotheticals.

[-] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 31 points 3 weeks ago

Possibly a world tour of grabbing billionaires and far right politicians, Bibi, Putin, Trump, Le Pen, Musk, Murdoch and all the likes, showing them the messes and human suffering they helped creating and hurling them into space or something.

[-] sxan@midwest.social 17 points 3 weeks ago

That's a pretty good starting list. I don't know that I'd waste time trying to show them anything; just go straight to disposal.

I, too, was thinking "murder." It solves only a sort term problem though. Within a few years, you'd just have a new batch.

The system is broken. Capitalism as we practice it is broken; our political systems are broken (some more than others). That won't be fixed by DXing a bunch of oligarchs.

[-] Yermaw@lemm.ee 9 points 3 weeks ago

You'll need to make it very visible and very real to as many people as possible, and make it sound credible that "shit like this starts up again, and I'll be back, be excellent to each other or else"

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[-] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 28 points 3 weeks ago

Let's just say you won't have to worry about billionaires and healthcare profiteers anymore

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[-] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
[-] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 3 weeks ago

Saved the biggest flame for Australia. Or is it just bushfire season.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I would make the Fortune 500 a checklist.

[-] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 9 points 3 weeks ago
[-] hbar@lemmy.ml 19 points 3 weeks ago

I would create my own Groundhog Day set up. Start learning task A. After 47 hours, fly around the earth to rewind time. Learn for another 47 hours. Repeat process. Learn infinity tasks and become a master at everything. On the last loop win the heart of Andie MacDowell.

[-] zod000@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 weeks ago

I can't conceive of a better answer than this.

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[-] einlander@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

Lots of regimes will fall.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 weeks ago

The Democrat/Republican one would be first on my list

[-] rouxdoo@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

DC...Trump to the moon to fix - Trump.

Stratosphere - blow all the CO2 out into space and fix global warming.

Schwarma after with friends.

Oh yeah, grab the great plastic pollution bomb in the pacific and hurl it into the sun then use fry-eyes to burn every plastic manufacturer on the planet.

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 9 points 3 weeks ago

That's actually a great subject for an XKCD What If - What if all of the CO2 was suddenly removed from the atmosphere, all at once?

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[-] t_berium@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

Not sure if that's fast enough, but I would try to visit all the planets in our solar system. And then head out to see what's in the Oort cloud.

[-] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 weeks ago

No comic-buff here, but is Superman fast enough for that?

[-] Admetus@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 weeks ago

In the OG movies he goes so fast that he goes faster than light and turns back time. At least I think that was the idea. So yeah, he could do FTL travel. Given that he accelerated to that point in about a minute, it's probably doable all within an hour.

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[-] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 11 points 3 weeks ago

Couple of these here 50 states gotta go. I'm annexing them on behalf of Rhode Island. Try to fuckin stop me. Wait does anybody know my powers only work for 48 hours? Cuz otherwise I think I can bluff

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[-] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

Oh! This one jar that is freakin stuck super bad.

[-] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 10 points 3 weeks ago

I'd repair the bikes of people with broken bikes who need their bike fixed so they can get on their repaired bikes and cycle off on their bike.

Bike

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[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 10 points 3 weeks ago

Stop wars non violently by disarming all parties involved. I know, they'll arm up again after the 48 hours but all I need to do to protect myself is get a haircut and fake glasses.

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[-] Libra@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Fly everywhere. I'm having breakfast in Paris, lunch in Cairo, and dinner in Kyoto, and checking out a bunch of other places in between. Also doing approximately all of the cocaine so I can stay awake for the whole thing.

[-] Melobol@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 weeks ago

Can you do the trick from the movie and turn back time?

[-] otacon239@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

You can, but you turn back time to before you were Superman, but still moving that speed, so you just atomize.

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[-] dwindling7373@feddit.it 9 points 3 weeks ago

Probably I don't notice the whole time and go along with my standard routine.

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 9 points 3 weeks ago

Does having superpowers fix my executive dysfunction? Cause if so then like, I dunno, clean my house, catch up on admin, do everything I've been unable to do

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

Put my dog on my back and fly around the world with her!

(then when she's sleeping happily I start punching billionaires)

[-] Bronstein_Tardigrade@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 3 weeks ago

Elon gets his dream of going to Mars. I'd put him in a cybertruck and chuck him in the general direction.

[-] ReverendIrreverence@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 weeks ago

Destroy every factory making glue traps, every fur farm, Palantir, NGO group and the like and maybe tunneling through K Street in DC at high speed

[-] propter_hog@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago
  • Use x-ray vision to microwave a hot pocket

  • Fly to work to avoid traffic

  • Use super strength to pull lawnmower start cord since its always such a pain to start

[-] mathemachristian@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago

Bring my family to safety, destroy every US or proxy owned oilfield, report to marshal kim jong un for further instructions

[-] IttihadChe@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 weeks ago

Step 1 - Immediately relocate all Israelis to their country of origin (within prisons) and bring Palestinians back to their land.

Step 2 - Remove the infrastructure maintaining the puppet occupation of Korea.

Step 3 - Remove all weapons from the US/EU and deliver them to communist governments and natives.

Step 4 - Do the same with industrial/technological capacity.

Step 5 - Translate/Copy theory and deliver it to everyone on earth.

Step 6 - Build a bunch of Renewable Energy plants all over the world.

Step 7 - Destroy the Oil industry.

Step 8 - Nap in the sun but lose track of time and lose my powers so I disintegrate.

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[-] Achyu@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 3 weeks ago

Enact land reform and nationalisation of resources in countries that want it.
Help with infra development.

If super intellect is available, then fusion, vaccines and similar stuff. Also setting up some cheap manufacturing of medicines.

[-] ABetterTomorrow@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago

Destroy all nukes, Luigi the system of money and power annnnnnnnnnd speed build a train system in the US.

[-] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago

Won’t be specific, but certain parts of Washington DC and Florida would be a crater.

[-] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 5 points 3 weeks ago

Fly into space and reverse the Earth’s rotation. This way we travel back in time. I will the use my knowledge of the future to become like Lex Luthor.

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[-] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

Making the mother of all power vacuums Jack, can't fret over each billionaire!

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this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
64 points (95.7% liked)

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