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[-] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 27 points 2 days ago

Let's just say you won't have to worry about billionaires and healthcare profiteers anymore

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[-] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 5 points 2 days ago

Won’t be specific, but certain parts of Washington DC and Florida would be a crater.

[-] ABetterTomorrow@lemm.ee 6 points 2 days ago

Destroy all nukes, Luigi the system of money and power annnnnnnnnnd speed build a train system in the US.

[-] zbyte64@awful.systems 52 points 3 days ago

There are about ~3000 billionaires. Or a billionaire every minute.

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[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 62 points 3 days ago

Vanquish evil. There's quite the list at the moment.

[-] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 31 points 3 days ago

Possibly a world tour of grabbing billionaires and far right politicians, Bibi, Putin, Trump, Le Pen, Musk, Murdoch and all the likes, showing them the messes and human suffering they helped creating and hurling them into space or something.

[-] sxan@midwest.social 17 points 3 days ago

That's a pretty good starting list. I don't know that I'd waste time trying to show them anything; just go straight to disposal.

I, too, was thinking "murder." It solves only a sort term problem though. Within a few years, you'd just have a new batch.

The system is broken. Capitalism as we practice it is broken; our political systems are broken (some more than others). That won't be fixed by DXing a bunch of oligarchs.

[-] Yermaw@lemm.ee 8 points 3 days ago

You'll need to make it very visible and very real to as many people as possible, and make it sound credible that "shit like this starts up again, and I'll be back, be excellent to each other or else"

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[-] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 3 days ago
[-] kellenoffdagrid@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 3 days ago

Some of y'all don't understand the type of shit this guy's on

[-] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 3 days ago

not a single POW! ?

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[-] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 10 points 3 days ago

I'd repair the bikes of people with broken bikes who need their bike fixed so they can get on their repaired bikes and cycle off on their bike.

Bike

[-] zenforyen@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago

If there was such a demihuman bike god, I would ride my bicycle more often. I just don't want to have to maintain it and waste time of my life again because some dumbass broke a beer bottle on the street.

[-] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Republicans would be in trouble, and so would certain evil leaders.

[-] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 38 points 3 days ago

Try to fly through these god damn rings

[-] hbar@lemmy.ml 19 points 3 days ago

I would create my own Groundhog Day set up. Start learning task A. After 47 hours, fly around the earth to rewind time. Learn for another 47 hours. Repeat process. Learn infinity tasks and become a master at everything. On the last loop win the heart of Andie MacDowell.

[-] zod000@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 days ago

I can't conceive of a better answer than this.

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[-] hungprocess@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 3 days ago

Relocate anyone with a net worth of >$500 mil to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

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[-] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
[-] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 3 days ago

Saved the biggest flame for Australia. Or is it just bushfire season.

[-] ReverendIrreverence@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 days ago

Destroy every factory making glue traps, every fur farm, Palantir, NGO group and the like and maybe tunneling through K Street in DC at high speed

[-] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 5 points 2 days ago

Fly into space and reverse the Earth’s rotation. This way we travel back in time. I will the use my knowledge of the future to become like Lex Luthor.

[-] sheogorath@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Use your Lex Luthor wealth to eliminate inequality, right? insert padme face

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[-] Rom@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I would make the Fortune 500 a checklist.

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[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago

Wipe the DC legislature off the map. Excepting aoc of course

[-] mathemachristian@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago

Bring my family to safety, destroy every US or proxy owned oilfield, report to marshal kim jong un for further instructions

[-] dwindling7373@feddit.it 9 points 3 days ago

Probably I don't notice the whole time and go along with my standard routine.

Elon gets his dream of going to Mars. I'd put him in a cybertruck and chuck him in the general direction.

[-] einlander@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

Lots of regimes will fall.

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[-] DeadMartyr@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago

Get a little area where I would actually want to live.

Carve out mountains to channel water to more areas, basically accelerate what Egypt is doing to spread the green lush from the Nile River.

Make ideal spots for some cities, get a lot of gold out of the ground to prepare to buy the land

Pour all the foundations of the buildings, build lines of rails for public transit and trains. Make sewer system and areas to transport water

Just make it super easier for people to come and build/live there, and if I own it all I can avoid big corporations coming and pushing out growing businesses

[-] t_berium@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Not sure if that's fast enough, but I would try to visit all the planets in our solar system. And then head out to see what's in the Oort cloud.

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[-] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago

Making the mother of all power vacuums Jack, can't fret over each billionaire!

[-] rouxdoo@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

DC...Trump to the moon to fix - Trump.

Stratosphere - blow all the CO2 out into space and fix global warming.

Schwarma after with friends.

Oh yeah, grab the great plastic pollution bomb in the pacific and hurl it into the sun then use fry-eyes to burn every plastic manufacturer on the planet.

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[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 9 points 3 days ago

Does having superpowers fix my executive dysfunction? Cause if so then like, I dunno, clean my house, catch up on admin, do everything I've been unable to do

[-] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 11 points 3 days ago

Couple of these here 50 states gotta go. I'm annexing them on behalf of Rhode Island. Try to fuckin stop me. Wait does anybody know my powers only work for 48 hours? Cuz otherwise I think I can bluff

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[-] IttihadChe@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 days ago

Step 1 - Immediately relocate all Israelis to their country of origin (within prisons) and bring Palestinians back to their land.

Step 2 - Remove the infrastructure maintaining the puppet occupation of Korea.

Step 3 - Remove all weapons from the US/EU and deliver them to communist governments and natives.

Step 4 - Do the same with industrial/technological capacity.

Step 5 - Translate/Copy theory and deliver it to everyone on earth.

Step 6 - Build a bunch of Renewable Energy plants all over the world.

Step 7 - Destroy the Oil industry.

Step 8 - Nap in the sun but lose track of time and lose my powers so I disintegrate.

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[-] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

I would definitely start by sending every NATO leader, every NATO military person, and every unrepentant former NATO military person into the Sun.

[-] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Oh! This one jar that is freakin stuck super bad.

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this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
64 points (95.7% liked)

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