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[-] space_comrade@hexbear.net 61 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Funny title but in all seriousness very based, fuck missionaries I hope they all get clubbed to death by the uncontacted tribes they're pestering.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 31 points 2 months ago

Imagine bringing disease to people just so you can feel better about telling them that when they die (from all the disease you brought) they are tormented in hell

[-] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago

“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.”

[-] Horse@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 2 months ago

"if I did not know about god and sin, would I go to hell?"
"no, not if you did not know"
"then why did you tell me?"

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 44 points 2 months ago

Xi is a standing 69 type of guy because he's super fit. Hell yea brother.

[-] 9to5@hexbear.net 44 points 2 months ago

Getting backshots cause the party demands it

[-] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 41 points 2 months ago
[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 38 points 2 months ago

Hittin it from the back, but at what cost??

[-] sisatici@hexbear.net 34 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"The CPC wants you to spice things up in the bedroom a bit."

no, cpc wants you to respect your vows volcel-judge

[-] Cowbee@hexbear.net 33 points 2 months ago
[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 33 points 2 months ago

So I'm guessing that foreign missionaries were coming in to preach the good word of our lord and saviour, the CIA?

[-] AcidLeaves@hexbear.net 31 points 2 months ago

Missionary slander is telling on yourself that you're bad at sex

Kiss other person, stare at them lovingly, play with their clit/dick, suck their neck, hit them, choke them

[-] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

several of those things you can even do when there's a bedsheet with a hole in it between you

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

You can even celebrate CHRISTMAS through the hole!

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

We're dangerously close to the "Jack Skellington finds a glory hole" bit from cumtown

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I feel like this is necessary context [CW: Meat, dude trying to fuck a computer]:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pehj6P0AhI

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Oh that was great. The shellfish line killed me.

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago

This only bans outside missionary activities btw, if you're a properly registered church with a local congregation basic missionary work is ok. So the local Jesuit health clinic isn't shutting down as long as the CCPA knows about them

[-] Sasuke@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

one down, 68 left to go volcel-judge

[-] valium_aggelein@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago

But now we will never get a sequel to the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom…

[-] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

This is the sequel.. it's time to attack and dethrone god

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

I bet my childhood church is fucking pissed. squidward-chill

[-] Ilixtze@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

The "invincible wheel" is legal in China again! 🎉

this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
188 points (100.0% liked)

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