Push it.

Twist it.

Bop it.

I'm about to have dinner, but I'll be back as soon as I'm done, I swearsies

Ok, first take a deep breath and calm down. Airspeed low is a good thing, you need to take this slowly! If the shaking of the steering wheel bugs you too much, they are adjustable, you just need to push it away from you.

Now one of the biggest dangers to planes flown randomly around the sky is other planes, so you need to get on the radio with air traffic control and request permission to crash and they can give you a clear vector from your current position to a suitable crash site.

If you're lucky, there will be a nearby deserted island, in which case surviving the crash will make a much more interesting story than a plane crashing on a deserted island and everyone dying (or maybe the island will be purgatory or something and you really did die, or maybe purgatory will be a version where you didn't crash... Be prepared to be very confused, especially since you won't get to see any of the flashbacks that gives context to everyone who will lie about everything, even stupid shit like miraculously being able to walk again or other things that would be cool to talk about).

Oh, that is unless you're one of the few adults on a plane full of kids, in which case, sorry, you're fucked.

Extends the flaps, i.e. makes the chord of the wing longer making it able to be more effective at lower airspeed. (takeoff and landing).

The flaps are retracted at cruise to make the wing more efficient at cruise.

How could they forget the foot pedals? That's a whole axis and objectively the most fun controls on the plane.

adding:

• All the buttons behind you are circuit breakers.

Some more practical tips.

• if the autopilot is engaged, you can't physically move the wheels, because it is moving them for you. Press the red button on the steering wheel to disconnect autopilot.
• That IAS tape on the left of the sky/ground box is the most important thing on the plane. It's got red bands on the high side and low side that you should stay out of.
• if the plane tells you there's a "stall, stall" you need to push the wheels forward to make the nose go down. And keep the speed above that lower red band.
• the black button on the wheel is the push-to-talk to talk on the radio, or maybe the internal PA system. Depends how it's set up.
• most important: the switch for the "fasten seatbelt" sign is usually on the bottom of the top panel. You can flip it on and off as much as you want. (Older planes will also let you do this with the "no smoking" sign).

Fly? Yes.

Land? No.

Surely you can’t be serious.

It's my aeroplane.

Songbird sweet and sour Jane,

And music is my aeroplane,

It's my aeroplane.

Dejavu theme intensifies

Ask the copilot.