People here talk about doing crime with the black pill, but I would instead just be the perfect astronaut.

Think about it, they could shoot you in space without having to think about how to get you back. No landing, no parachute, just a one way rocket launch.

Space agencies would be practically forced to hire you on the spot.

Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.

"Albanian Transporter" would be a pretty sick nickname of an assassin whose movements seem to defy the laws of physics.

Obviously I'm teleporting to Albania.

The Cantonese speaking dog is pretty cool. I like the Albania teleporting till I realized I need to get out of Albania

Pink, because then you can fold Queen Elizabeth II into a whale giving head

Red.

Simply say "oh, its a full moon tonight?" Then look at them with your now piercingly red eyes and state "I must leave, immediately."

Get out of any social situation and you can get your friends to think you're hiding some big secret. Win win.

There's a lot of room for interpretation with purple, but 80 million people speak Cantonese. I would be a fool not to take it.

Quite a lot are picking Tirana.

I suspect there'll be some telefragging in the future.

i reckon you could make more than $5AUD with a cantonese speaking dog

AND you get a dog

我想要狗狗做朋友

DOG!

ur telling me I can get a /home command and all I need to do is become Albanian?

I can get a dog I can talk to with a translator app? Hell yeah

If I could teleport other people into a Tool music video, this wins hands down.

One time I was in Spain and I found 5 Australian dollars on the floor in a train station. I picked it up and pocketed it. The same day, I climbed a bell tower in some museum/remains and was chilling up there for half an hour, without anybody else coming up. Eventually another person came up and said hi. Recognised they were Australian so I asked them if they wanted 5 dollars and they said "....yeah?" And I gave it to them. No explanation.

I laugh sometimes thinking of the story from their perspective, climbing a Spanish bell tower and meeting an English guy at the top who hands them 5AUD, like a NPC in an RPG.

Can you teleport things with you? If so, use your ability to start a business importing items to Albania with nearly zero shipping costs, then invest in the local community until it's a really nice city to teleport home to.

Black could be handy once in a while.

DOG. Always dogs. More dogs. I want to pet all the dog.

Cantonese speaking dog is the obvious choice. Far more impressive than anything else here.

Eye color. Though the five dollarydoos are tempting.

Red. My eye colour already changes randomly, although less often and more subtly than it did when I was younger.

I'd love to be able to control it and confuse people.

Talking dog, it's so obviously talking dog

Easy: Teleport to Albania for cheap rent and food, work somewhere with high pay.

.

australians rise up

The black pill is the logical one to take. It's basically a get out of death (or jail, I suppose) free card if you can use it at the right time. Unfortunately, most people don't speak the language or have a passport that would allow them to leave the country. So you might have problems there.

Changing eye color at will would be cool as well, but not as useful in an emergency.

My reactions in order upon seeing these:

"Sounds cool I could probably convince some nutjobs that I'm a demon or something?"

"Who?"

"Great my head already doesn't fit through my doorframe as it is"

"I would farm exactly two reactions out of this before getting bored"

"Who?"

"Is he only like ethnically cantonese or is that the sole language he speaks?"

"So nothing"

"A what in a what now?"

"Oh no."