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WARNING: Hamas is changing all the street signs around so that you drive the wrong way and go to Albuquerque instead. (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by happybadger@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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I was VERY distraught when I tried to do my laundry today and ended up driving 8 hours to New Mexico instead. And it's not just street signs. Right outside my house too, they literally took down the sign that said it's deer season and replaced it with one that said it's happybadger season.

Examine the bolts on every sign you pass. Do NOT trust them until this is resolved. ONLY use your GPS system for guidance.

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[-] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

They're also painting fake tunnels on walls so IDF jeeps crash into them

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

I chased them out on to a tree branch, but when I sawed through the branch the tree itself fell while the branch remained in the air

[-] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Did you remain in the air for a brief moment and hold up a sign that said "YIKES!" before falling?

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

jesse-wtf jesse holy shit jesse we need to hide our meth lab RV the entire fucking IDF is here

[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Walt would be massively pro Israel

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

he might be pro israel but he would be more pro-"holy shit i don't want to get arrested for cooking meth"

[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

just say he stole the meth lab from a Palestinian family

[-] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Earlier, I was chasing a hamas member but I after I lost sight of them I saw a really pretty lady with bright red lipstick. Of course I ran to embrace her only to find out she'd been replaced with a dummy made out of dynamite! It took me all day to wash off the soot!

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Hamas tricked me into smooching a pretty lady who turned out to be a rabbit in a dress.

[-] impiri@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

The wabbits are tired

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

I'm so sick of it. I replaced their sign with another that said it's deer season and IMMEDIATELY a Hamas militant came by to steal my sign and put up YET ANOTHER that said it's happybadger season.

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was walking outside past some buildings today and Hamas dropped a piano on my head. It fell on me with so much force it knocked my teeth out and replaced them with paino keys

[-] envis10n@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Hamas just hacked my phone and changed my GPS system! With the signs being changed AND my GPS being changed, I ended up in death valley instead of making it to the grocery store on the other side of town! How could they do this to us?!