Whenever you enter a new (sub-)culture, you have to learn the social norms. Some people have an easier time, others have a harder time. There's not much advice we can give you, since every culture is different. Some value privacy, others openness and honesty. Some communicate stuff via head nods, others by how far you stand away, and others by pitching the tone of their voices.

You will learn too, but it will take lots of exposure and trying. Some people will dislike you for not understanding, others will be forgiving. How much you should make allowances and whether it makes sense to tell them that you are autistic depends on their specific culture and personalities. So, uh, good luck.

note: (sub-)culture here does not mean only the nation you're in, but it can change group-to-group. Essentially it's the vibe that a group has.

Check out the netflix show "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt." If you talk to someone who has seen it, you can make references to it that will land very well as jokes to help you break the ice. Make friends with them and they will be a safe context for you to share your insecurities about things you don't understand, and they will help you.

Don't overdo it with using lines from that one show though. Just once or twice per person.

Might as well ask on !autism@lemmy.world

From my experience, people with autism tend to take everything they hear at face value, so it takes time to understand when what's being said isn't literal. Some jokes fly over my head, some of my jokes make "no sense" to people around me, I'm often seen as rude for being too straight to the point.

So, what you need is friends that are understanding. What's obvious to them might not be to you and vice versa.

Just chill out and talk. If you don't get stuff, ask. Decent people will explain stuff to you, especially if they know you legitimately struggle with it.

You’re doing it. It does not get easier.

From my understanding as someone who is also neurodivergent, "normal" people seem to be born with an instruction manual built into their brains that lets them socialize without much trouble. Those of us with autism/ADHD/etc were not born with this instruction manual so we have to figure these things out by trial and error.

I'm 36 years old and still learning some things said or actions can be construed as a faux pas. It helps to run it by a close friend who understands you, like "hey, I want to say this to that person, do you think it would come off weird or is it okay?"

I do that a lot with my partner, and it helps.

I relate.

Relax (as much as possible), the only one that thinks you're being awkward is you.

I'm assuming you're in college or college age, which is a time when most young people are on their own for the first time. You're going to fuck up, and that ok, because this is the time to do it.

When you're in a social situation, you can try and replace it with a scene in your head, and you're playing a part. It works for me when I'm trying to speak a second language... I use my 'radio voice'.

Try not to work yourself up too much, you got delt a shit card growing up and just being there is a huge step.

Talk to people. You have to understand in the cohort there are good people and bad people so your experience will not always be good. Bad people are not always meth addicts , drug dealers etc. There are some sick sick individual among us. They have normal 9-5 jobs some are in position of power like CEO, Director , president of a country so doesn't always mean if someone is earning million $ , they must be normal. Question everything and understand people.

You don't understand rules either. Like Rule 1.