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[-] rustyfish@lemmy.world 71 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Few years ago I changed my nick on PSN because I coudn't stand my old one anymore. I choose a name that sounded feminine to say the least. Unicorns and shit, don't ask. So naturally people thought I was a gurl or at least super gay. I felt the change of behavior immediately.

In Destiny 2 alone I got revived way more often. People went out of their way to run across the open world map just to get to me. Damsel needed rescue I guess. I got a lot of invitations to Raids "Hey, we are LFG and we can explain everything to you if you want to". I got these messages while standing arround the main hub. Doing nothing. While wearing the Raid exclusive Exotic on my character for everyone to see (fucking Eyes Of Tomorrow is almost as big as my char). I got called "bitch" and "slut" many times...come to think of it, that wasn't new. Party invitations out of nowhere, chat invitations out of nowhere.

In Warframe some guy gave me an item for half the price for no apparent reason, after that he send me a chat invitation, I declined and he send me a PN wishing I would get raped. Another one I thought was afk in a mission, but no. He was just typing a message to me: "Hey, how are you doing? You new to Warframe?" Again, me jumping around in a highly optimized Nekros/Atterax build...

Sooooo online gaming is full of psychos. I didn't question that but it was then when I fully understood how bad it was. There are a lot of women playing games, some even play Call of Whatever is cool atm. They just stay quiet and play eighter with friends or with other women. There are nerds out there who are beyond insufferable.

[-] balrogslayer@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago

When I was about 13 or 14, I revealed to my WoW friend (who I'd been playing with for months) that I was a girl and within a day he went from being my cool friend to someone who was offering me raid gear in exchange for talking dirty to him through Ventrilo.

Nearly 20 years later and I refuse to let anyone in on my gender. It's dehumanizing that we can't even play a game without being harassed.

[-] LFR@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

I often play female characters and occasionally have the same experienced.

Recently i started a new game, someone helped me with something that I thought would take like two minutes, but it went on and on and he was friendly and helped me further. When we were finished after at least an hour, he said something which made it obvious he thought that I was a woman. I corrected him and he said "oh, lol" and immedeatly left the group. So fucking weird.

It's also funny to me because i never even look at usernames, neither in games or reddit, lemmy, etc. don't know why, but I just skip over it. So I don't even come to think who the person might be. Only when I'm in a group and have adress someone specifically I read what the names are.

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[-] CrypticFawn@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 year ago

I typically use masculine names when playing multiplayer games to avoid most of the misogyny. I also pretend I'm mute so I don't have to use a mic.

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[-] taiyang@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago

The comments: No way, women don't play games. I never see them.

Yeah no, they might not be on your games. But having seen the sheer lust for Link, I'm not surprised switch is popular.

And the crazy thing is, the industry really doesn't do a good job at this. The numbers could really be higher, especially mobile, but the sheer number of male fantasy waifu games out there is ludicrous. (Although, unsurprisingly, the dollars earned from whales are overwhelming male, especially internationally where the wage gap is higher, so that's what drives that).

[-] TwilightVulpine@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago

Not to mention that a lot of women have bad experiences with online gamer guys being sexist assholes, so they might not want to call attention to themselves.

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[-] phario@lemmy.ca 45 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Women also make up 50% of PC video game players and 54 percent of mobile game players.

I find a lot of these figures really hard to believe, to be honest.

Looking at the link, there is little I can find about their methodology.

[-] Helldiver_M@kbin.social 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It looks like the data comes from Statista. After a quick google, they look to be credible. Though, they require a business solutions license to see the source, which is a cool $490.

In other words, looks legit imho.

[-] Andy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 year ago

I understand being skeptical, but there's no reason it should be hard to believe...

[-] Greenskye@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Sims is pretty popular and the main version everyone plays is PC only, but can be run on laptops and other low end PCs. There are a lot of 'I only play Sims' people out there. Could account for some of the numbers

[-] nachom97@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

50% of video game players makes sense to me, depending on what you count as a video game player. If, say, it was anyone who’s played any video game in the last year, I believe be about right. Sims, among us, the dinosaur game in chrome, wordle, etc. it adds up

Men probably dedicate more time to gaming and make it a bigger part of our lives, hence why it would seem more common.

[-] Blamemeta@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Well if they're including mobile gaming, I can see it.

[-] papalonian@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

But 50% of PC gaming? I know a lot of women hide the fact that they're women to avoid sexists, but I just don't see that figure being accurate, especially if there's no reporting on how they came to that number

[-] Action_Bastid@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago

Brother, pretty much every single woman I know under the age of 40 plays, at the very minimum, Stardew Valley, Minecraft, and Terraria. Most of them also play other big games, like Dark Souls, Elden Ring, etc.

The genre that the mostly don't play though are modern "arena" style shooters like Call of Duty, Halo, CSGO, Rainbow Six, etc. They're far more likely to play something like Fortnite or Hunt or something where you can have a small squad to roll with. Typically because it means they don't have to deal with anywhere near the same number of toxic random assholes.

[-] Elevator7009@kbin.cafe 33 points 1 year ago

Hi, woman under 40 here. I'm AFKing at a mob farm I built in Minecraft right now as I browse Kbin. I create mods for Stardew Valley. I have a lot of management games and RPGs. I also avoid multiplayer unless I know I'll only interact with a small closed circle of my real-life friends because I hear about how awful and bigoted people will act online. These people are also why I am not going to try those arena style shooters on the off chance I fall in love with the genre. People being awful is a near-certainty in those games, while me turning out to love the gameplay is just a chance. I've got other things I can play that won't expose me to this and that I already know I enjoy.

TL;DR: local woman says you're right

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[-] AverageCakeSlice@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 year ago

I know a lot of women who have played sim/management games like The Sims, Zoo Tycoon, Stardew Valley, etc.

A lot of this comes down to the actual survey questions that were used. If the wording of the survey questions was “Have you ever played…” as opposed to “Do you regularly play…” for example, then the numbers could be quite skewed.

[-] Grangle1@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Yep, plenty of girls/women out there who don't really consider themselves "gamers" who will put multiple-digit hours into those management types of games. I personally know several like that. I would imagine a lot of women don't really get into direct PVP online gaming due to the online environment and lack of attempts to appeal to female gamers with the designs of such games, but would probably play a lot of single-player in a bunch of different genres and series. As the article implies, Nintendo IPs in particular would be appealing due to lack of pandering to either the common "gamer" demographic or to what many other publishers think women want in games (overly stereotypical "girl stuff").

[-] Nepenthe@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think this especially stems from how those games are seen by some more asshole-ish people. Few would disagree that strategy RPGs are not gaming, but I've had a clerk at gamestop lecture me about how my then-favorite title wasn't a "real" part of the series. So it's still my favorite, but I don't bring it up anymore.

For much the same reason, there's an internalized mental block concerning whether or not something like The Sims, Stardew, Animal Crossing, etc. are "real" games because they don't really have a goal or require the same level of skill. If someone asks me what I play, I'm going to mention Hades before I ever breathe a word about Slime Rancher because one of those is going to get me stereotyped and insulted.

If all I played were really chill, micromanaging "girl games," I just wouldn't say anything and would have doubts about describing myself as being on the level "gamer" normally entails.

[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

My wife has solo four stars in every single overcooked map. She still doesn’t think she’s a “gamer”

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[-] gerbler@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

It's pretty clear that games being male oriented has been somewhat of a self-fullfilling prophecy for decades. Publisher's and manufacturers have pretty much exclusively targeted young males and so it shouldn't surprise anyone that they historically made up the bulk of the market as a direct result.

It's honestly embarrassing how long it's taken for that mindset to shift when there's an obvious financial disincentive to perpetuating it.

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[-] toxicbubble@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

so many comments in disbelief lol, almost like gaming is more accessible now hmmmmm

[-] Nikki@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago
[-] goomby69@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Me too! But I still avoid voice chat... :P

[-] wren@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 year ago

Ugh same. The number of gross comments I've gotten on vc over the years is enough to fill a book.

I'm mainly on PC now though, playing single player games or games with my fiancée and/or friends

[-] Silentiea@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

I just avoid pvp or most multiplayer.

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[-] Katana314@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I’m seeing indie projects like BattleBit where they’re taking a very hardline stance towards voice toxicity, and I’m curious if that environment change could ever make it feel like a safer space to speak.

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[-] Epicurus0319@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago
[-] qooqie@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Yay equal sexism and racism for everyone! Hope they can get past the bold asshats that feel secure being behind the internet. The mute feature in many games is extremely handy. I still get people in my dota games being extremely sexist when a women speaks

[-] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Been playing multiplayer games since I was a kid, I'm in my 30s now, I am loooong past the point of ever playing any online game without automuting everyone unless I know them. I'm utterly done with letting loudmouth shitheads ruin my enjoyment. Even games where they substitute an in-game chat with some emote bullshit, I mute those too.

One of the things I like about LoL Wild Rift on mobile is that they have a detailed ping system so you don't have to use the in-game chat (because it's on phones). It's so much nicer than PC LoL. The games move faster, so no one has the time to pull up the touch keyboard and harass you.

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[-] tuna_casserole@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago

Wow I'm a little surprised it's grown so much so fast.

I guess anecdotally it's not terribly surprising? 30s. Busy af. However my gf has been straight dragging me through Terraria, Cosmoteer, and seems like Battle Bit soon. She had a lot more flexibility with her schedule so I'm just trying to keep up.

Weird but awesome

[-] bibliotectress@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

I (F) have always played video games (started with the NES and AD&D games on PC) because my dad had bought them for my brother, and they were fun. Nearly all of my female friends in junior high played N64 games along with our male friends, but now having friends in my upper 30s, very few of them play video games unless they're on mobile. And even if they do play mobile games, it's not Stardew Valley. It's the shitty ones that come pre-installed or they found through ads on Facebook. There are a few from my junior high nerd bubble that I'm sure still play, but I keep it on the DL at work because everyone is mostly frustrated with their husbands and kids and how much time they sink into games. They're judgy about it. I've started occasionally admitting I play games, but feel like I have to say we play them as a family, and relate it to board games.

The article surprises me. Although my daughter had tons of friends to play with online during the pandemic, so maybe it's more zoomers and 20-somethings?

[-] tuna_casserole@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago

I get the productivity shame as well. Like if I mention a game I play, then someone is piping up with a fence they fixed or something etc etc.

It seems like you're getting your femininity attacked as well which seems so strange. I just thought we would've learned by now. Like in our generation (looks like we started at the same time) I was teased (to say the least) a lot for my "nerdy" interests but now it's like most of it is vogue. It's dumb that we would repeat that with a specific gender.

I don't know if it's of any use but the majority of my lady friends game. Thru mostly also tend to be quiet about it unless nudged. That is to say that you're not weird, just awesome.

[-] bibliotectress@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Your comment is so kind! Thank you!!! And you're right, I've never really thought about it like that, but it DOES feel like my femininity is attacked! It's easy to wave off the incel "tHeRe ArE nO wOmEn On ThE iNtErNeT" comments that I don't come across as much anymore, but from people I know face-to-face, it gets to me. At least enough to avoid the topic. I'm sure there are a lot of women like me all hiding that we play video games!

It's not fair that you're getting the productivity shame either. The people who do that are usually the same people that are like, "Have you seen the latest 5 different series that have dropped on Netflix? I watched them all last weekend."

Oh well. I feel like it'll only get more socially acceptable to spend our free time however we want! It can only go up from here!

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[-] Roundcat@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago

I can say from my experience most women I know are gamers. I'd say the biggest difference is they tend to play more single player experiences. My older sister has always been a big jRPG nerd, and my younger sis was always into Bethesda games, especially Fallout. Meanwhile a lot of my friends are into life sim games like Stardew Valley, the Sims, and Animal Crossing, and we tend to play the latest big nintendo game together.

I am probably the only person in my group of friends that does anything remotely multiplayer, unless it's local or coop.

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[-] kratoz29@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Well, my gf uses more my switch than I, so yeah.

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[-] cloudpunk@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

Glad to see the gate keeping came with us.

I've played wow (MMOs tend to be popular with women, my guild has several women), overwatch, and am playing diablo now. Call of duty just looks kinda boring to me. I also play alot of single player games.

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[-] mintiefresh@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago

It's cool to see the numbers and warms my heart to know that everyone is enjoying games.

[-] NinjaYeti76@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago

My wife loves her Nintendo switch and so does my daughter. I also played Diablo 4 with my wife which is amazing. I'm all for more women playing games. I don't have to hide by myself in a room playing video games anymore. It's just a normal part of my family. There are many benefits to women playing games beyond what I just mentioned obviously.

[-] joyjoy@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

You read it here, video games are for girls. Now stop playing games and get to work. /s

[-] AlboTheGuy@feddit.nl 11 points 1 year ago

The irony of the company that picked boys over girls having the majority of their users being girls

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this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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