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submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by MTZ@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Anyone want to bring me up to speed?? 🤔

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[-] Asafum@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

"I fixed the economy. You're all rich now."

"Iran is going to kill us all if you don't let me glass the whole area for ~~Isreal~~ our safety."

"The left are all terrorists who hate Americans and America."

"Everybody loves me so much they call me crying about how much we win. It's too much winning for them."

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks for the update, g.

[-] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Congressman Al Green got kicked out cause he held a sign that said “black people aren’t apes.”

The rest of the event can be extrapolated from that.

[-] nocklobster@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago
[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

That's my favorite vignette from the entire series, lol. I wish I could give you like 6 upvotez.

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

I drove my ex to get cigarettes last night. Still trying to convince her that we can still hook up occasionally and I don’t even mind that she’s a lesbian now, and in fact is kinda hot really.

You think she’d be more receptive to the idea if I told her she could bring one of her lesbian friends?

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

100% for sure. You should ask her to let you stick it in her butt after you make the arrangements.

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

Fair. She’s stuck it in mine enough times.

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Niiiiiice.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Let me know how it goes brah!!

[-] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

75 minutes of the sloppiest blowjob ever, I'm not sure how Putin put up with it.

At least, that's what I'm presuming, i didn't watch.

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Was there a lot of teeth action?

[-] bizarroland@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

No, but dry mouthed 80 year old sandpaper tongue was featured prominently on the menu

[-] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 weeks ago

Your experience was likely less miserable.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 3 weeks ago

You saw plenty of asshole doing what you did instead. I think you're caught up without even realizing.

[-] Ghyste@sh.itjust.works -2 points 3 weeks ago

If only there was a community that was actually meant for such subjects... Something about politics...

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Anything political even remotely involving this administration is automatically a shitpost. I don't make the rules. 🤷

[-] Redstone1@lemmings.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I checked the side bar nd it says-

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Sounds like this is the perfect sub!

this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2026
8 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38725 readers
932 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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