41
Story of my life (lemmy.world)
top 24 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Mark this nsfw plz, due to the pfp in the image

[-] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago
[-] M137@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'm a chef man
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub

[-] fonix232@fedia.io 7 points 1 month ago

Have a wank, have a Kit Kat. Rinse, repeat.

I can help with the latter, got 12 tonnes of the stuff as a deal recently

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago

Have you considered joining the military industrial complex?

[-] daggermoon@piefed.world 2 points 1 month ago

Yes, I decided I'd rather do just about anything else.

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

Well then there's no pleasing you

[-] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago
[-] an0nym0us_dr0ne@europe.pub 1 points 1 month ago
[-] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 month ago
[-] seggturkasz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Do you have hands and a stable internet connection?

You could start gardening, there are a lot of tutorials online. And its so nice to fuck among flowers.

[-] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Same here. Also having a catheter for 4 weeks after surgery on my urethra so also can't get out of the house and can't have sex or jerk off. The longer I have this situation, the more woodies I get at night, which hurt and wake me up. I'm 2 weeks in, 2 more weeks to go. I'm boooooored!

[-] black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

That's fucking rough. Can't they like give you anti-horny pills or something? Shit

[-] dawcas@scribe.disroot.org 2 points 1 month ago

Meet me at the Eiffel tower. I'll be the one carrying 5 litres of lube.

engage in manual labor

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I want to believe that pfp is a woman but I have a good feeling it’s a bussy

[-] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

I tend to suggest Kobold AI instead of healthy human interaction.

[-] Ilixtze@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 month ago

Go out for a 10 km run

[-] Pistcow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

found the 23 year old with no bitches.

[-] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 month ago
[-] DarkSirrush@piefed.ca 3 points 1 month ago

Get a better instance, .ml censors swears.

[-] Pistcow@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Wait, some instances fucking do that? Wow.

[-] robotica@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

They're 26 now, if their username is their birth year

[-] Whitebrow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Still no bitches tho.

this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
41 points (90.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

39990 readers
1166 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS