41
Story of my life (lemmy.world)
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[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Mark this nsfw plz, due to the pfp in the image

[-] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago
[-] M137@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I'm a chef man
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub

[-] fonix232@fedia.io 7 points 2 weeks ago

Have a wank, have a Kit Kat. Rinse, repeat.

I can help with the latter, got 12 tonnes of the stuff as a deal recently

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 weeks ago

Have you considered joining the military industrial complex?

[-] daggermoon@piefed.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yes, I decided I'd rather do just about anything else.

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 weeks ago

Well then there's no pleasing you

[-] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago
[-] an0nym0us_dr0ne@europe.pub 1 points 2 weeks ago
[-] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago
[-] seggturkasz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Do you have hands and a stable internet connection?

You could start gardening, there are a lot of tutorials online. And its so nice to fuck among flowers.

[-] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Same here. Also having a catheter for 4 weeks after surgery on my urethra so also can't get out of the house and can't have sex or jerk off. The longer I have this situation, the more woodies I get at night, which hurt and wake me up. I'm 2 weeks in, 2 more weeks to go. I'm boooooored!

[-] black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

That's fucking rough. Can't they like give you anti-horny pills or something? Shit

[-] dawcas@scribe.disroot.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

Meet me at the Eiffel tower. I'll be the one carrying 5 litres of lube.

engage in manual labor

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I want to believe that pfp is a woman but I have a good feeling it’s a bussy

[-] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago

I tend to suggest Kobold AI instead of healthy human interaction.

[-] Ilixtze@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago

Go out for a 10 km run

[-] Pistcow@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

found the 23 year old with no bitches.

[-] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago
[-] DarkSirrush@piefed.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

Get a better instance, .ml censors swears.

[-] Pistcow@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Wait, some instances fucking do that? Wow.

[-] robotica@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

They're 26 now, if their username is their birth year

[-] Whitebrow@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Still no bitches tho.

this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
41 points (90.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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