51
top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Masturbating before sleep is how I fall asleep. Don't they want real world data?"

"Ok but do you normally stare directly into a scientist's eyes while jerking it?"

[-] vrek@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago

Yes but I'll admit the flicking of my tongue and licking my lips are not normally done.

[-] suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus 2 points 1 week ago

Yes that's ideal. And I know this is my 50th sleep study. I needed another one, and I will continue taking them. Yes, my insurance quit on me long ago, I don't care how much this costs, JUST TAKE MY MONEY, HOOK ME UP AND LOOK ME IN THE EYE

[-] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

They are in a different room. Idk if they have cameras though.

[-] conartistpanda@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Five nights at jorker's

[-] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

"No, I usually stare into the photo of my deceased grandparents."

[-] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 week ago
[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 1 week ago

Whoa...

What's jerking off in 4 dimensions like? :O

[-] Murse@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago

Length, width, depth, and duration. Everything you do is in 4 dimensions!

[-] Akasazh@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

A Friend of my spouse was in hospital and awaiting surgery (a stint or bypass it something) he was very bored and decided to rub one out on the toilet.

He was still connected to the heart monitor, though, so whilst he was at it the nurse came to the door and ask him if everything was ok. This ruined his immersion and thus could not finish so then he was bored and slightly blue balled

[-] Rooster326@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago
[-] Akasazh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

The sexual fantasy whilst chugging on his wang

[-] Grass@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

weird timing for me to see this. my appointment is tomorrow.

[-] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Bring lube, like a very large container of it clearly labeled. Ensure everyone sees it and refuse to acknowledge it. It's just your "bedtime supplies".

[-] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

If it's not a 55 gallon drum, don't even bother bringing it.

[-] nforminvasion@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Personally, I find that just submerging yourself in it is far more effective than putting it on from the nozzle.

[-] ekZepp@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Note: At 2:32pm The patient switched hand.

[-] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 1 points 1 week ago

lol, told you he'd go to coomer first. You owe me $60

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I have had a holter monitor strapped to me twice; the first time, a totally typical day, including the usual freaky shit. The second, I was better prepared and came before the appointment.

As far as I'm aware there wasn't a meaningf difference in the results. And jerking it might give better, more accurate results, if it's a regular scheduled activity.

It's not like you'd be the first one to do it. If you like an audience, even better. If you've got it, flaunt it.

[-] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 1 points 1 week ago

How about exercising with the monitor? Like if that's part of my regular day.

Never have had holter monitor, but few of my friends said they need to stand still while it measures. That would make working out kinda harder.

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I had a full sleep study done that included a holter (and a microphone, lol). I did consider exactly that, but all the wires made it a pain in the ass just getting up to pee, let alone getting freaky

this post was submitted on 11 May 2026
51 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

39983 readers
1191 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS