Literally hiding under my desk rn from Hamas. (hexbear.net)

submitted 10 months ago by SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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Yeah I live in the USA but they could strike anywhere at anytime. Fucking Hamas is like ISIS on fucking CRACK or even better like Donald Trump meets Darth VADER. I'm so flipped the fuck out over how much they scare me.

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[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

Just downloaded an illegal movie from ISIS. It's full of fentanyl.

[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

but try getting the DEA to believe that you ordered a movie and ISIS switched it with a crate of fentanyl in transit

[-] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

hiding under my bed from hamas and finding hamas already hid rockets under here help

[-] Aabbcc@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago

You must have forgot to say you condemn Hamas. Easy mistake to make

[-] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

I accidentally said I condone Hamas and now every full moon I turn into a human animal that stalks and kills IDF soldiers and steals their cum before their families can claim it, pls help

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

How do you know they're not under your desk right now?

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

scared

[-] CetaceanPosadist@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

camera is set at a low and to your left angle, showing the side of your head and your arm lazily scrolling through the official IDF twitter account on a smartphone with the underside of the desk out of focus in the background. after a few moments of this the you suddenly freeze, but your expression isn't visible so we don't know why. focus slowly shifts to the background as a dark blob against the desk becomes clear. a stamp reading "MADE IN PALESTINE". cut to camera from the stamp's POV, showing your pupils dilating as you stare up into the camera for just a couple silent seconds. explosion. end scene.

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

Hello fellow american. After the atrocity that was 7 billion 9/11's, I have since been locking myself away in my house. I just can't take the risk of hamas being out there. I am almost out of food. I have 8 expired cans of Spighetti'Os left. Please send help.

[-] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 10 months ago

Plot twist: Help arrives but the help is Hamas

[-] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

With shampoo and conditioner in hand

[-] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

Fucking Hamas is like ISIS on fucking CRACK

Fentanyl actually

[-] AFineWayToDie@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

"No John, you are the Muslims."

And then John was a Hamas.

[-] beautiful_boater@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

You're not @happybadger@hexbear.net

[-] yune@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

back in the early 2000s my sister used to babysit for this kid whose parents told him that bin laden was under his bed instead of monsters. He made my sister check for osama bin laden under his bed before he would sleep.