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submitted 11 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I was thinking about sentences that can tell the entire story on their own. I have 2 common examples:

  • So, I started to play WOW
  • My husband was 20 older than me

I can already tell how is gonna develop and end. What other sentences you know that have this effect?

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[-] TOModera@lemmy.world 70 points 11 months ago

"I'm not racist, but" oh, they are going to say something racist.

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 46 points 11 months ago

It's fun to put "I'm not racist but" in front of totally innocuous statements.

I'm not racist but there's a blue Hyundai parked outside my building.

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 months ago

It still works. If I heard that my first thought would be "who are they racist against?"

[-] snowe@programming.dev 7 points 11 months ago

“I’m not racist but the weather is nice today“

[-] TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

I use something similar often. "I'm not racist but the color of the bread is white."

See also, "Nobody likes to say it out loud, but..."

[-] PeepinGoodArgs@reddthat.com 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

"The hard truth is..." something completely obvious.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 11 points 11 months ago

Something completely untrue.

[-] Justas@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

"I'm not gay but..." proceeds to say the gayest thing you have ever heard.

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

Oh weird, I did that one constantly as a kid. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[-] Grenfur@lemmy.one 23 points 11 months ago

"I promise" followed by anything. That thing will 100% not happen.

[-] tacotroubles@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

I Promise I will get a girlfriend.

[-] ShinyMike@lemmy.shiny-task.com 9 points 11 months ago

I promise i will NOT get a girlfriend.

[-] everett@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The universe works out the logic of this statement, weighs the pros and cons of complying, ultimately decides to just shut things down.

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 4 points 11 months ago

I promise that I am lying to you right now

[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I promise that in a few hours the sun will rise.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 months ago

You've done doomed us all, donnie!

[-] KillerTofu@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

My husband is 20 years older than me, we have been together 17 years, what is your autocomplete for this?

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 9 points 11 months ago

"... and then he told me I should be a stay at home wife, and I accepted, we had 5 kids after we initially agreed to only have one but he pressured me, we moved to his hometown where I knew no one, he controlled all of my finances, after 12 years of marriage I confronted him for cheating on me but he always denied it, until I found his second family but I couldn't leave him because I had no money of my own and lived far away from my family, then he became physically abusive and telling me that I was nothing without him, I needed help to leave him but im still fighting in court over child support and shared custody, but he is now with his third family and refuses to pay for nothing, I should have left him a long while ago but I couldn't see the red flags and even my family thought at the time it was a bad idea to marry him but they knew I wouldn't listen because I was 20 and naïve"

I've seen so many cases with different variations.

[-] KillerTofu@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Well, we’re gay, I’m the breadwinner and no fighting over custody of anyone.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 9 points 11 months ago

Cool. So nice to hear. Congratulations.

[-] hddsx@lemmy.ca 14 points 11 months ago
[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago
[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 12 points 11 months ago

"I don't like to spread rumors .... "

[-] nicerdicer@feddit.de 12 points 11 months ago

"I'm sorry that you..."

... feel offended by my point of view.

[-] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 11 months ago

"After this, I'm retiring"

The would-be retiree is dying the ABSOLUTE next scene. RIP my wingman PJ, he was gonna marry his girl after we left the Avalon Dam

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 3 points 11 months ago

"After this, im retiring"

2 years later: Hayao Miyazaki is making a new movie.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

"After this, no more albums."

10 years later: Tupac still going strong.

[-] ulkesh@beehaw.org 11 points 11 months ago

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 months ago

"Yes, I have! We learned about him at the Academy. It turns out it was an ironic nickname given to him by his peers after his disciple basically took him down. One of those lessons in knowledge and treachery, meant as a fable for building false trust, but some idiots are empowered it."

[-] dan1101@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I loaned one of my friends $500 two months ago and

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 11 months ago

.. he paid it back double. What a fella. Salt of the Earth type. Super Buff. We're getting married next July after he leaves his wife. Has problems with birds.

[-] chahk@beehaw.org 8 points 11 months ago

"I'm not a racist, but ..."

Surely to be followed by some extremely racist shit.

[-] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 7 points 11 months ago

it's not you, it's me.

we've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty.

and getting married, love at first sight!

...whatever could go wrong?

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 7 points 11 months ago
[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 4 points 11 months ago

General Kenobi

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Some wonderful "rhetoric" filled examples, as well as an unrelated all time clasic

  • "Your generation is so entitled-"
  • (in reference to progressive language) "It's so hard to keep up-"
  • Any mention of J*rdan P*terson in a positive light
  • "So, we noticed you across the bar and love your style-
[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 11 months ago

(in reference to progressive language) “It’s so hard to keep up-”

I mean sometimes, genuinely, you can be the most well-meaning person in the world and still insult somebody.

In Turkey, pointing with your index finger backwards at someone is a gross insult. In some European countries, sticking your thumb between your first and second finger means "good luck" or "f**ck you" depending on where you are. In England, a cunt can be an insult or a term of endearment.

Sometimes you can blink, and the language changes around you. It can be genuinely hard to keep up, especially more so if you're not wired into the WWW 24/7

[-] HowMany@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 months ago

Once upon a time...

[-] ItsComplicated@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

Dont worry, you can trust me

[-] surfb@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

And then he/she said : I am going to thread you Wright

this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
66 points (94.6% liked)

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