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submitted 11 months ago by ZeroCool@feddit.ch to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world 89 points 11 months ago

I watch Lord Of The Rings at Christmas.

  • it has elves

  • the fellowship set out from Rivendell on the 25th of December

  • Gandalf has a santa-like beard

I rest my case

[-] mcqtom@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago

Don't forget they all came out in December! That's the only thing that matters.

[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

Aww never knew they were LGBT 🥰

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 10 months ago

All of them were originally released around the holidays back in the early 00s as well, so there's baked in Christmas association with those movies.

[-] niktemadur@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

In a parallel universe multiplex somewhere, Christopher Lee smashed it as Krampus.

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[-] Neato@kbin.social 43 points 11 months ago

People say Die Hard is Christmas movie because people are so fucking tired of the same rehashed Christmas movies that get played in repeat every year. I like Elf but I've seen it enough.

Same with Christmas music. I'm tired of this boomer era shit starting in October.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 11 months ago

Jingle All the Way is a better Christmas action movie that's actually about Christmas.

[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

So my husband also loves this movie. I try every year to like it, but I simply cannot. I wonder if it's one of those that you find and love as a kid or else it's hard to get into, haha.

[-] pdxfed@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I watched this again a few years ago, and Sinbad has some of the worst delivery of all time, even among people who flexed into an "acting" career. That's to go among with Arnie's "unique" delivery of predictable dialogues and bad puns.

Phil Hartman was hilarious, or course.

It's a terrible movie.

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 10 months ago

Sinbad's performance is saved by the homemade explosive device scene. Other than that, he's a hack haha

[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Honestly Phil Hartman being in it is one of the best parts for me. He was a treasure. RIP

[-] DrMango@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

It's a terrible movie, but us Minnesotans overlook that for the unbridled joy of pointing at the screen and saying "I've been there!" or "Nancy knows the family that used to live in that house." (she doesn't)

[-] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

You have to buy into the premise of its fantastical, half real/half cartoon reality. If you’re watching it through a serious lens or even as a comedy that takes place in a real world Minneapolis, you’ll never be able to appreciate it.

[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Idk man, I've seen some pretty dope cartoons. I've tried looking at it from a million different angles over the years (as I said, husbando loves it, so I do really try and enjoy it as well), and it just doesn't do it for me. But it's cool, not everything has to be for everyone, and sometimes you see something at the right time in your life and it just elevates to become something super special to you. I guess I just didn't have that experience, ah well

[-] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago

Unfortunate, but you’re right. Different strokes for different folks. It’s a staple in my house due to the great one liners I can throw back and forth with the mrs.

[-] LilB0kChoy@midwest.social 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Violent Night is going to be a Christmas tradition of ours. I also checked out Fatman this year.

[-] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 11 months ago

My girlfriend said the same thing. Not a masterpiece but a fun lil movie to break the monotony of regular holiday movies.

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[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

A tradition is anything that happened to a boomer twice.

[-] ashok36@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Muppet Christmas Carole never gets old.

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[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social 29 points 11 months ago

“If you _____ it means you have no personality” is played out

[-] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

If you enjoy “if you _____ it means you have no personality” articles it means you have no personality.

[-] clearleaf@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Agreed. Saying everything isn't a personality isn't a personality either.

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[-] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 15 points 11 months ago

american psycho should be one if them, the main character even says "have a holly jolly christmas"

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

I like when he ODs the two elves on MDMA then walks around with the elf head on his dick.

Such metaphor.

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 10 months ago

There are more nonchalant Christmas references in American Psycho than in a Shane Black movie.

[-] SlapnutsGT@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

I saw some clickbait article the other day “movies you didn’t realize were Christmas movies” and it was full of obvious Christmas movies. #1 was Its a Wonderful Life………

[-] qooqie@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

Okay but why aren’t some of these Christmas season movies? I think narnia really isn’t that big of a stretch

[-] PapaStevesy@midwest.social 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Snow ≠ Christmas

It was only wintery because of the witch. If anything, it's Easter themed, since it's literally a crucifixion allegory.

Edit: I'm a big dumb wrong person.

[-] Zorque@kbin.social 21 points 11 months ago

Santa is literally in the book. He arms the children.

[-] 0ops@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

I remember that was in the movie too!

I need to rewatch those

[-] Blakerboy777@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

@Zorque

@ZeroCool @qooqie @PapaStevesy the witch cursed Narnia so that it's always winter and never Christmas.

[-] 0ops@lemm.ee 16 points 11 months ago

So with Santa's help, the kids saved Christmas. Yeah you're not convincing me that Narnia isn't a Christmas movie

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[-] some_guy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 11 months ago

What’s your case for Home Alone then?

That’s a Christmas movie to the core.

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[-] EvilLootbox@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

It really depends on whether you can stomach watching Kevin Spacey or not, but The Ref is one of the greatest Christmas movies imo

[-] pdxfed@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Dennis Leary at his zenith.

[-] GraniteM@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME. The corpse still has the floor!

[-] Cultural_Hope@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

'The Ref' is a glaring omission. Burn the website down.

[-] Swallowtail@beehaw.org 5 points 10 months ago

🤷‍♀️ I don't enjoy traditional Christmas movies that much and I think it's fun to do something different.

There are 8 billion of us, it's pretty tough to say something original all the time.

[-] a_mac_and_con@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

Sorry, Onion, some of these literally have Christmas in their titles. That's a stretch, even for you. XD

[-] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

The post is from hardtimes.net

[-] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 11 months ago

All my satire is onion and all my consoles are nintendo

[-] a_mac_and_con@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah, but the community here is theonion. The comment applies the same for any of the satire sites.

[-] Littleborat@feddit.de 5 points 10 months ago

Die hard should have been on one and not lethal weapon. Other than that I think those are excellent choices.

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 10 months ago

Lethal Weapon was written by Shane Black, so by default it's a Christmas movie.

[-] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"get a personality" and "that's your whole personality" is just lazy writing. it's a generic insult deployed against anyone who likes a thing that says nothing about the person or the thing. it's the satire equivalent to "vegan bad". why should I read an article written by someone who makes parroting bland criticisms from the internet their whole personality?

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this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
295 points (94.3% liked)

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