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BIG GEOLOGY (mander.xyz)

submitted 10 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

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[-] plenipotentprotogod@lemmy.world 58 points 10 months ago

Relevant XKCD

[-] don@lemm.ee 11 points 10 months ago

Are there handguns small enough to fit inside a Petri dish? Or do you just aim the handgun at the Petri dish? Does the handgun need to be loaded? If it must be loaded, will blanks suffice? Does a larger caliber reduce the time needed to aim the handgun at the Petri dish? Is there a specific distance to the dish from which one must aim the handgun? Are rifles, shotguns, and machine guns specifically excluded? Will a sword work? It’s generally made of the same kind of material as a handgun. Is it necessary to stand on a chair while wearing a lab coat while aiming the handgun? Can two hands be used to aim the handgun? Does engaging the handgun’s safety have any effect on the contents of the Petri dish?

XKCD’s not being very helpful.

[-] misterundercoat@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

If we just go around shooting cancer cells, we'll end up with bullet-resistant super-cancers.

[-] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

If we can harvest those to make ballistic vests, then I see opportunities.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

So, like Venom?

[-] Icalasari@kbin.social 6 points 10 months ago

Blank probably would work. Those can still kill at point blank

[-] 1024_Kibibytes@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

I don't know of any handguns small enough to fit into a petri dish. The handgun must be loaded and fired at the petri dish. A large caliber will be easier to aim since it would decrease the need for accuracy. Close range is a better distance. Shotguns and machine guns would do an even better job, rifles are fine. A sword decreases the likelihood of destroying a virus because of its low energy. Standing on a chair while wearing a lab coat makes you look cooler. Two hands can be used to aim the gun if it helps you. The handgun will not fire with the safety on, thus decreasing the probability of destroying the virus.

[-] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 51 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Reading between the lines, should we throw Covid patients into volcanos?

[-] somePotato@sh.itjust.works 23 points 10 months ago

Every experiment so far has shown that when you toss COVID patients into active volcanoes instead of using the standard treatment there's a 99% reduction in deaths by COVID, but big pharma doesn't want you to know that

[-] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

They count those are covid deaths just to make trump look bad! /s

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

That 1% of patients was just earl, who died of covid on the ride up to the caldera. Shouldn't really be counted.

[-] Wogi@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

They'll have enough lava to last the rest of their lives!

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 7 points 10 months ago

Has this been tested yet? .... or have they already tested it and haven't told anyone?

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[-] Steve@startrek.website 5 points 10 months ago

Only if they refuse to be vaccinated…

[-] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 5 points 10 months ago

I'm pretty sure this is the basis of Scientology -- throwing the unvaccinated into volcanoes so they can become force ghosts.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Yes, we single.

[-] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 4 points 10 months ago

Autocorrect hates me.

They go back to words and rewrite them on iOS!

[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago

They don't want you to know it works, but I've been microdosing lava for years now. Now everything tastes the same and I can fly.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

How are your shits?

[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Well... turns out tiny shards of volcanic rock are sharp enough to make surgical scalpels. So, colorful.

[-] fossilesque@mander.xyz 3 points 10 months ago

Well, I'm convinced.

[-] don@lemm.ee 27 points 10 months ago

Technically a close-range gamma ray burst can kill coronavirus, but there’s a good reason no one is using it for that purpose: it’s a goddamned close-range gamma ray burst.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago

Oh, look at Big Astronomy trying to tell me how I should practice Extinction Level Events.

Fuck you B.A., I'll go extinct however I wanna!

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 12 points 10 months ago

You can have a little extinction, as a treat.

[-] Coasting0942@reddthat.com 4 points 10 months ago

I am confused? Suffer not the non-human to live

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

You want Hulks? 'Cause that's how you get Hulks.

[-] Ranvier@sopuli.xyz 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Appoint this internet commenter as surgeon general of Florida! We must get the truth out about medicinal lava!

[-] frezik@midwest.social 3 points 10 months ago

That commenter already is the surgeon general of Florida.

[-] Nobody@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

My sister's baby's daddy's cousin's roommate drank lava, and it cured his cancer. Then, he quit taking drugs. Why does Big Geology support cancer and drug addiction?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Every time you tell this story you leave out the fact his testicle (yeah he only got one) swole up to the size of a basketball and I think that's pretty important

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 19 points 10 months ago

Fuck it's hard to keep up with modern medicine. Here I am like a fool still drinking bleach.

[-] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 1 points 10 months ago

Why are you still drinking it?.did you not shine a light up your bum? It should be one and done treatment, not ongoing. Do you even do your own research?

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[-] metaStatic@kbin.social 15 points 10 months ago

They've played us for absolute fools

[-] Wogi@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

This is such bullshit. You can't drink lava.

It's really more like a soft taffy. You eat it. I eat lava all the time and I'm FINE. eat the lava kids

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Why is this forbes article written like the author's brother-in-law suggested lava as a cure for covid and he rolled his eyes and went "Now I gotta debunk THIS shit."