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harry dubois discovers touhou [CURSED POST DO NOT OPEN] (hexbear.net)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by Cromalin@hexbear.net to c/games@hexbear.net
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de-encyclopedia [Medium: Success] - Ah, a fumo. Derived from the otomatopeia of touching something soft, mofumofu. They are particularly famous among fans of Touhou, a Japanese multimedia franchise, for being particularly rare and hard to find. Lucky you! This fumo depicts the character, "Patchouli."

de-inland-empire - Keep her close. Her softness and disaffected stare will ward against the coming darkness.

de-savoir-faire - Wait, did you say rare? I bet we can pawn it for a quick réal. Think of all the cool stuff we could get.

de-shivers - Numbness creeps up from your fingertips, crawling into your spine. Across the bay, young man mourns the loss of the crown jewel of his collection.

de-electrochemistry - Yes. This will do. You know what must be done.

de-rhetoric [Legendary: Failure] - Uh, do we? Maybe its one of these political things. They haven't failed us yet.

  1. Feed the bloodsucking landlords to the meat grinder?

  2. Feed the ungrateful workers to the meat grinder?

  3. Feed the ungrateful workers and foreigners to the meat grinder?

  4. Let the meat grinder starve?

de-electrochemistry - No, you communard. Do you really not remember? Dig deep and recall what it is that must be done.

de-volition - Don't. It will only cause you more pain.

  1. Do I have to?

  2. I don't like the sound of this...

  3. Does this have to do with the ex-something?

  4. [ELECTROCHEMISTRY - GODLY 16]

Low
25%
+1 Something about rainbows...
+1 Saw preserved jams.
-1 It's better to forget this.
This is a Red Check.
It cannot be retried.

⚅⚅

Check Success!

YOU - Your neurons fire in tandem, dredging through every scrap of information left in your hungover, burnt out mind, until you unearth something truly terrible.

VOLITION - I warned you.

TASK GAINED: ACQUIRE A MASON JAR

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[-] Parzivus@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago

Shoutout to the Harry cosplayers that commit to the beard. I've seen a couple at cons, mad respect

[-] MalarchoBidenism@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago

MASON JAR - A lone mason jar sits on the shelf. It is empty, for now.

:de-electrochemistry: ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh yeah. This is the stuff.

  1. Pick up the jar.

  2. I'm not doing this. [Leave]

:de-electrochemistry: ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Good. Now put that plushie in the jar.

  1. Put the fumo in the jar.

  2. What, now?

  3. No. [Refuse task]

:de-electrochemistry: ELECTROCHEMISTRY - What's the matter? All of a sudden you're too cool for instant gratification, Mr. Licked A Rum Stain Off The Counter?

-1 MORALE

  1. Put the fumo in the jar.

  2. No. [Refuse task]

MASON JAR - You place the fumo in the jar. It fits perfectly.

:de-interfacing: INTERFACING [Medium: Success] - Too perfectly. Like two halves of a single deranged contraption.

:de-inland-empire: INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - The figurine does not complain, but somehow you know it doesn't like where this is going.

:lt-kitsuragi: KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective... why did you put the plushie in that jar?"

:de-half-light: HALF-LIGHT [Medium: Success] - FUCK. He's onto you! He knows what this is!

:de-conceptualization: CONCEPTUALIZATION [Formidable: Success] - Art.

:de-volition: VOLITION [Trivial: Success] - Anything but the first one, please.

  1. "I'm going to lewd up this toy, Kim. Lewd it hard."
  2. "It's my icon. A symbol of my superstardom."
  3. "It's a protective talisman. The wolf grows hungrier."
  4. "I don't know. I'm sorry."
  5. "Some boring reason."

  6. "It's art."

:lt-kitsuragi: KIM KITSURAGI - "Art? Hm. Ok then." He studies you for a second, then looks back to his notebook.

:de-empathy: EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He doesn't really believe you, but he doesn't want to push it any further.

:de-volition: VOLITION [Easy: Success] - For God's sake man, let it go.

  1. [Drama - Heroic 15] Convince Kim you're definitely not going to do something weird with the jar.

  2. Let it go.

CHECK FAILURE

:de-drama: DRAMA - Try this, sire.

  1. "Just so you know, the jar isn't for holding any of my bodily fluids."

  2. Oh no, that's bad.

:de-volition: VOLITION - It is.

  1. "Just so you know, the jar isn't for holding any of my bodily fluids."

:lt-kitsuragi: KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective?" The lieutenant seems caught off guard by your statement.

:de-drama: DRAMA - Strong opening, my liege. Now elaborate. Explain to him why it's so implausible.

  1. "I mean, if I was going to store this toy in my own semen, I'd use a bigger jar, don't you think?"

  2. "Do I really look like the kind of guy who would do weird sex stuff with a jar?"

:de-electrochemistry: ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh yes. The weirdest sex stuff.

:lt-kitsuragi: KIM KITSURAGI - "You look like an officer of the RCM. I would ask you to act accordingly and leave your... personal business ...for some other time."

:de-authority: AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - Shut the fuck up about the jar.

evrart EVRART CLAIRE - "I'm so glad you cleared that up, Harry! I can rest easy now knowing you won't be doing anything weird with that jar you inexplicably took from my shelf! And rest assured, nobody will hear anything about your freaky jar-related non-activities either! Now, is there anything else I can do for you?"

TASK COMPLETE: ACQUIRE A MASON JAR +30XP

this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
58 points (100.0% liked)

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